for those who have reality tv as their guilty pleasure
Reality Ravings | Australia's leading Reality TV blog!

Category — lame

Australian Idol – Final 7 – The year they were born

With the Federal election date finally being called, I decided that tonight’s Idol may be a sign of what the upcoming campaign would be like. Would it be entertaining, provocative, and full of talent? Or would it be dull, uninspiring, and full of medocrity.

Unfortunately it was the latter.

The mission for tonight was to pick a song from the year you were born. Which was all ’80’s and a couple songs from 1990. I think if the Idol producers take a lesson from tonight is to not bother have a 80’s night this season.

The performances tonight were ordinary. You knew it was crap when Marcia “I dug it” Hines was joining in on the criticism. Was it the song choice or is it the performer? This years lot are making Lee Harding look talented, which is as hard as making George Dubya look smart.

The highlight of the evening for me was finding out Australian Idol merchandise is now in Happy Meals in Macdonalds. It is an improvement on Teenage Turtle Ninja Turtles and Shrek figurines.

First up was Ben McKenzie singing a song from 1990, Higher Ground by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, which is in fact a Stevie Wonder cover from 1973. Which raises the issue of the rules for picking songs. If you can find anyone releasing a cover in the year you were born eg a band from Greenland releases a quirky version of a Beatles song like Eleanor Rigby, should you be allowed to sing it?

I don’t, Idol needs to beat the credibility stick (that probably is an oxymoron) and say only an original song from that year can be covered.

Ben was obviously trying to woo some of Matt Corby’s prolific voters to his camp(no pun intended) by doing the big stare down the camera, however the song just did not seem to suit his voice. Also the band seemed to over power him, it was like a mouse squeaking over the roar of a lion.

He did do better then most this evening with two judges liking it, Marcia, and Kyle, with Dicko and Mark finding it ordinary.

Marty Simpson sang from 1986 “Now We’are Getting Somewhere” by Crowded House. I loved the way during the song the cameraman panned to Lana sitting in the audience, just to imply they are indeed an item. I thought she was doing the HSC at the moment.

To show where his interests really lie he turned it into a reggae version, and a pretty lame one at that. The judges are always going on about showing your personality to the Idols, he needs to take the Scientology Test and ask them if he has a personality because I ain’t seeing signs of it.

Also the Government did not have to waste of taxpayers funds on the leaflet called ” Talk To Your Children About Drugs” when it would have been much more effective in just taking Marty into schools to show kids this is what happens when you indulge in to many drugs. I have seen people with lobotomies show more life.

He then had the predictable whinge about he needs to show case he is more comfortable singing his original songs. This is not Triple J Unearthed the whole point of the show is covers. It is the equivalent of wanting a pig on a spit at a Hare Krishna feast. I am hoping he is around for original night, as he will then have no excuses for a shite performance.

Natalie Gauci sang “Endless Love” by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie from 1981. I have lost count of the number of times I have heard this mangled at karoke bars. It is even worse when a boyfriend/girlfriend do it as a serious number.

However I have to confess this song is in my top ten of guilty pleasures. Even though the judges panned it I loved it. It is so cheesy but in a good way. At one stage during the performance I deludedly said to my couch companion “ooh this may be a touchdown”, he looked at me like I needed to be committed. He may have been right.

The outfit she wore tonight was shocking. She needs to start screaming every time Sheridan Tyler comes near her. Dicko said that was the third outfit change of the night. Just hold on dear reader as I go off and start a “Sack Sheridan Tyler from Idol” Facebook Group…..

Back from that frivolity, next up was Carl Risley singing “Turn Your Love Around” by George Benson from 1982.

Carl’s girlfriend was in the audience, and Andrew G interviewed her. She confessed to them meeting pissed at the Melbourne Cup. I was very surprised at Andrew’s restraint by not asking any horn questions. She needed to take a tip from the Jacob Butlers savvier girlfriend, and get her hair done, and a bit of lippy would not have hurt. As there are over 1 million viewers looking at you and probably half are bitchy teenage girls, and the other half jaded 30 something female bloggers she was always going to cop a caning.

The positives about Carl are he shaves, he is not 17, and he looks good in a suit. Other then that his performance was dullsville. I have seen better entertainment at recent political fundraisers and that is a big call.

Matt Corby sang a Phil Collins from 1990 “Another Day In Paradise“. Which ever political party promises to ban Phil Collin songs from the airwaves has my vote. Even the mega talented Matt Corby could not do anything palatable with it and I was so bored I was wondering whether he styled his eyebrows. Yes I was focusing on the big issues!

I do think he is clever doing the old sit on the chair trick so people cannot see what a crap dancer he is, something that Daniel Mifsud should think about doing.

The judges were uncontrollably name dropping. Dicko mentioned Kevin Rudd. Is he thinking politics post Idol? Also Marcia dropped her daughters name Deni Hines in the same breath as Randy Crawford, saying they both had great careers from vibrato. As far as I am concerned her most recent career highlight was being a fame game question on Temptation last week. I live in fear we are going to see her perform on a Monday night show this year, something that Marcia insisted on in her contract renewal.

Tarasai (she who can get away with one name) sang a 1987 Aretha Franklin/George Michael duet “I Knew You Were Waiting For Me”. It was the best performance of the evening. Hitting the high notes great strutting about on stage, would I pick up the phone – No. She annoys me.

Dicko said ” You don’t over think things” Is he telling her she is thick?

However she will be safe for another week.

Daniel Mifsud got the coveted last spot to sing “Billie Jean” from Michael Jackson from 1983. As written previously he needs to take a leaf out of Matt Corby’s book and sit on a chair. Every time he dances he just looks like a dickhead, and completely uncool. Which is bizarre for a person who is desperate to show how cool he is.

How do you sing a song by someone whose voice has barely broken? By this time all the judges looked like they wanted to be put out of their misery, and could barely muster any enthusiasm for his tedious rendition.

After the fantastic performers from last year, this season has been extremely disappointing. Was the talent not out there, or did the judges give us a poor 24 contenders, with the ones who made the final 12 barely improving on their semi final wins.

Bottom three: Carl Risley, Marty Simpson and Daniel Mifsud. Marty to go.

This years Australian Idol will be crowned the weekend of the Federal election campaign, lets hope there will be a worthy winner on both of these occasions.

October 14, 2007   3 Comments

Australian Idol Final 12 – I won’t be voting this week

First finals show of the year and it was all a bit ho-hum. There were some good performances but no great ones. Maybe it was the low recognition of songs because of the old farts radio station I listen to.

No theme and I don’t think that helped the show – it just seemed like a continuation from the semis – everyone just singing the songs they knew and were comfortable with.

It was good to see Dicko out of the polo shirts, but what was the story with Marcia and the Paris Hiltonesque hair extensions??? She looked a bit like mutton spice. Hopefully coral will be out of fashion by next weeks show.

The four judges did not really work with me. In fact I thought Kyle was the best one last night as he did not fall about gushing about the lame Carl Rissey Waltzing Matilda. Has Kyles forehead moved in the whole three seasons he has been on the show? Also he did not seem to be pushing in for air time which the other three were doing.

The boy contestants are splitting into the ones that can’t shave and the ones that won’t. I can see Gillette stepping in as a sponsor by mid season. Speaking of which where were the tampon ads tonight is the demographic for the show changing?

Ben the young 17 year old who gave the most amazing performance in the semis last week, which just screamed star was bland tonight. Hopefully he has not peaked to early in the comp.

Mark who is thankfully in the competition to give the over thirties female something to perve at was ordinary, all his performances have been the same thus far. But he did look good doing it. Why would you pick a U2 song after Jesse Curran did one – it only brought back memories of James Blundell smirking in the front row last week.

Lana – how did this girl get through were we going to have another telstra scandal ala Laura? Had a boyfriend hacked through to the voting computer? Must confess was a bit of a surprised tonight, as I expected her to be twee again but thought she looked and sounded good. She did not try and sex herself up and was age appropriate. I enjoyed her performance. Ok I confess I am an Imbruglia fan.

Daniel – Is this the only guy in Darlo with chest hair? Look I know he is good looking, and has a good voice, but I fine him extremely ordinary. Every song he sings he just makes it boring.
Maybe a good make over would help – haircut, shave and NO scarfs…. I don’t see him winning. In fact the sooner he is out of the comp the better.

Carl – The all American oops I meant Aust boy. Will Johnny Howard seek an endorsement from him to help him with the much needed youth vote. I agreed with Kyle entirely about Waltzing Matilda lame, lame, lame. This is not the Mike Walsh Show. But give him ten points for smart choice I would be very surprised to see him in the bottom three tomorrow night. Chicks who dig uniforms will be voting in spades. He will be out once the themes start.

Holly – She was one of my faves from the semis – and I thought she looked fab tonight. But thought the song choice was brave. She needed to do a stunt like the fat lesbo leader singer of the Gossip does and flash her twot or something to be bring in the votes – she is a definate bottom 3.

Matt – Gosh the camera loves him. Reminded me of Dean Geyer in the way he came across on TV just something about his looks. His confidence was amazing. Appreciated but was not moved by the performance. If I had to take a punt I would guess he will win.

Natalie – big fan thought her performance was again good but not great. But wow is there going to be another revelation from Vic Larusso about her father. I know there are straight hairdressers I just don’t think he is one of them.

Jacob – one of my faves of the night must be cause I want to keep some guys in the comp who are over 25. The not shaving peer pressure had obviously gotten to him as well.

Tarasai – Mini Marsha just did not move me. Yes her voice is strong. But I would have to say she would barely make it to the semi finals in American Idol – because they really do have some big african american voices over there. Because it is a limited field here they think she is a sensation. Marcia was the first to cotton onto this niche market and carved out a career in Oz post the Hair musical whereas in the US her career would have faded into obscurity. In fact I wish she would do that here.

Marty aka stoner dude – oh man I hope he is the one to go tonight clearly he is one dimensional and once Idol starts compulsory drug testing it is only going to get worse, as he will have to cut loose his dealer. This guy will die on the theme nights. A part of me hopes he sticks around just so I can get a laugh out of him doing disco. I hope he is the one to go.

Brianna – Enjoyed her performance – however have to agree with Dicko she has to stop the quirky crap and let her talent shine through as it is really going to start to be annoying. I also felt she is not used to criticism she looked shocked that they did not gush over her performance.

I hope this years idol can pull out some interesting singers like last year like Bobby Flynn, Lisa Mitchell, and Damien Leith, but have to this say at this stage there is only one star and that is Matt Corby.

My pick for Bottom Three – Holly, Marty, and Lana.

Holly to go.

September 9, 2007   2 Comments