Masterchef – three’s company?
Aaron opens the show by telling us that he’s awake. This does not bode well. If you’re putting your jacket on, we can tell you’re awake. Matthew tells us that he’s listening to music, which we can also see, and Joanne is pretty pleased with herself (ditto – she seems smugger by the minute). Our trio enter the kitchen in their white jackets for a history making challenge. Donna is rocking some heels and a short dress and she doesn’t seem to be too intimidated by Matt’s extraordinary yellow pants and matching pocket handkerchief.
Matt tells the contestants that they will face “not one! Not two! But three! Talented! Chefs!” and I expect that Jim Henson’s Creature Shop will be contacting Ten soon to licence a Matt Muppet. The Situation – sorry, I mean Phillip – applauds enthusiastically from the balcony. George tells them that the trio of chefs they will face have hats and that one has worked for Heston Blumenthal, eliciting gasps from the two contestants who have heard of him. But enough preamble! Let’s meet Team Arras:
- Adam Humphrey
- Lovaine Allen
- Aaron Somebody else (please let me know if you caught that name)
Our trio gets a 20 minute head start in making rack on black: lamb saddle wrapped in black pudding with a leek and potato boulangere. They even have to make the black pudding! I hope there is some Nick Nairn style gagging over the buckets of blood. They taste.
Apparently Matthew is the boss of our trio, and hands out the tasks to the others. Aaron ends up with the pig’s blood – lucky Aaron – and Joanne starts the potato boulangere. Matthew is… well, I think the technical term is “boning the lamb”.
Team Arras disappears behind the partition and I hope nobody mistakes their frantic activity for the scrabblings of a rat (and that’s the only immature Hamlet reference I’ll be making, so you can relax now).
Matthew purees his dates, and no, that is not a euphemism. He ends up with “date soup” which is no good, so he starts again. Aaron’s got the black pudding under control and notices that Joanne is struggling with her potatoes. Lorraine, on the Arras team, is having trouble with her blood pudding and Matthew seems to be spending too much time spying on their technique and feeling smug, which surely encroaches on Joanne’s territory. Adam thinks they’ll lose if their black pudding is not up to scratch, but they have enough time to make another one.
The last two minutes are the longest ever and I hope there are some eagle eyes out there looking for possible replatings. Adam thinks they’re in with a good chance, but the peanut gallery wasn’t exactly on song with predictions last night now, were they?
Plate 1 – Team Arras
- Donna likes they way it’s balanced on the plate and thinks the camera would like it, which is odd, since it’s BROWN. They taste and she screws up her nose.
- George: Leeks undercooked, crunchy, not good at all. Potatoes lack salt, but are buttery.
- Matt thinks the crunchy leek adds a textural contrast.
- Donna: the date pulls it together.
Plate 2 – Team Masterchef
- Donna is not asked for her view on how this plate does, so she seems completely redundant in this round.
- George – “that potato is absolutely gorgeous for me” but the lamb is undercooked.
- Matt thinks the potato lacks the shivers of leek. (I think that’s what he says… anybody?)
- Donna finds the puree fruitier than on plate one.
Lineball, says George. Fireball, says the ad break.
Team MC: 6 from Donna and Joanne makes it known that she is responsible for the potatoes. There is still no Jo in t-e-a-m. 6 from Matt and 7 from George.
Team Arras: 7 from George, 7 from Donna, 8 from Matt.
Arras wins, but Team MC earn praise for cooking right through to the end, which seems like a prize for showing up.
- Did anybody else think that Aaron and Matthew’s high five was very rehearsed?
- Gary keeps telling us how important a munity is, but what exactly IS a munity? (Seriously, did I miss it when immunity was explained?)
- Did the judges even mention the black pudding?
- Is that it?