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Category — House Rules

Guest Post: House Rules – Hervey Bay Holiday House revealed

In the mess that is currently my inbox I found this recap from Gidgit (sorry Gidgit) another House Rule Recap and a house reveal.

Over to Gidgit:

It’s finally time to see the house we all feel we’ve already seen the end product of – or is that just me? Teams must scurry to finish off their areas and we get lots more recap for those that have not been watching or have dementia.  I have winementia so kind of grateful for it personally.  It’s damn hot in Hervey Bay… and I hear it’s cold in the Arctic! Duh! It’s bloody Queensland – sweating one day – sweating more the next.

Anyone else watch that bitch Belle interview on 60 minutes tonight? Oh sorry – wrong show. Ok on with holiday house I’m winning reveal. They better not have fucked it up. Cassie the sook is making more dramas than needed as usual. Bloody drama queen. Tiana and Steve’s kid castle thing is appalling (I don’t have kids – can you tell) and that would become a shed or place to lock up nosey neighbours. Welcome to Game of Stay off my Land bitches.  Ryan is a really good tiler because he is a tiler – that helps.  Cassie is still carrying on like a pork chop over the shelves when she only ends up putting little plates and few glasses on them – POINTLESS! Of course when she doesn’t get her way, things are wrong, stuff isn’t delivered or just…life – she breaks down and cries like a baby! More predictable than not winning Lotto!

Bronik has heat stroke and exhausted and we know that is not good (Walking the Nile people – dead guy!) Tiana wants her ex prisoner tiler to do her laundry tiles and not sure who is scarier? (waver – I do not know that her tiler has ever served prison time and if he ‘s reading this – I live in W.A) Ryan is painting the front doors bright yellow – against a light grey and crisp white painted home….eh. Not a fan.  Ben and Danielle have not agreed on one thing together all week and it’s not about to change now. Danielle is planning out an English cottage garden and Ben basically says ‘that sucks honey’ without saying that because he’s scared of her and knows she’s out of his league. Know what you’ve got folks!

HOT project manager (yayyyyy) shows up – in my bed (yeah I wish) and tells Ben he’s stuffed up the arbor and needs to change it as it’s now on council land. Who cares? You are in the middle of bloody nowhere! There are vacant lots out the wazoo around there and not like there is a proper street with street lights – so stuff the council.  Pretty sure that silly kids castle is a safety hazard. Looks like it’s been built from seaweed and snot! (Top Secret movie reference there – if you got that – I love you – seriously)

WHALES! Oh that’s right it’s Hervey Bay. Don’t show the actual beach up close – it sucks ass and you have to wade out through the coral reef & rocks to reach decent water – but anyhoo! Tiana and Steve had a HUGE king size four poster bed and it’s awesome. Back to sooky and Matt and sooky’s way of getting anything is to cry, have a tantrum and stamp her feet. Very mature dear. Don’t have kids – seriously. They’ll be more mature than you at age 3!  Joh Griggsy rocks up not sweating saying one hour left and awkwardly comforts Cassie because even she REALLY thinks Cassie is a god damn sook.

Bronik is down for the count so Corrine steps up to bring the furniture in and is small but powerful. I really can’t see how it’s all going to come together. Oh so now Bronik is refreshed and time for Corrine to break down. Marlee steps in and redeems herself from being a bit of a bitch this week. Good on you girlfriend. Ten seconds left and Ryan has a great tan, Joh Griggs looks spotless, Corrine is still crying and time for sweaty group hug. Tiana gives a ‘this has been great love you all’ type speech & really should have come from Ryan or Bronik.  Time for judging and letting the local’s in to have a snoop! When I win this house they won’t be getting past the front gate so enjoy it while you can yocals.

It’s judges Wendy & Joe time and both looking very stylish in bright red with high heels and lipstick – and Wendy looks pretty good too.  They are just a package of ‘wow’s’ ordered off Ebay and so am I to tell the truth.  Goes to show what a SHIT LOAD of money can do to an old moved house – sadly I don’t have a shit load of money so my place looks how it looks. Certainly not like this god damn it. First areas for judging is Ben and Danielle & the guest room is adorable but that wallpaper sucks in that type of home but the mirror is gorgeous. Hell if I’m going to review everything this will take for ages. They love the bathroom & back deck (the back deck is bloody awesome) And can I say fair credit to House Rules people for much shorter ad breaks! Yes I noticed & I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Ryan & Marlee’s areas now and some awesome tiling done by Ryan – and I loved the paving/tiling colours! They would suit our place like a treat – hint hint! The shed is adorable (for locking up the kids I guess) That carport is great & perfect and how come Marlee & Ryan didn’t get…never mind. I’ll get to that later on. I DID notice no outside lighting – no garden lighting or lights in the carport. People do go out at night and get home at night…although it is Hervey Bay so where the hell are you going? (kidding Hervey Bay – lovely place – I’ll be living there soon!) Hallway is gorgeous aside from tacky shit side table thing which should be in a contiki tour motel reception.  That’s where you lost your points Marlee & Ryan – that sidetable and that light above the dining table! Picky picky!

It gets weird when Wendy says she doesn’t like the pendant light and Joe goes off on some ‘yes they have really picked their game up haven’t they’. It didn’t blend with what was being said.  Steve & Tiana next & I agree with judges – if you got a retro wardrobe – why not get the same with the draws and bedside tables? Oh shit it’s the kids castle. The judges love it – no accounting for taste. Looks like some lame shit thing at Leyland Brothers World! (how’s that for retro!) I love a four poster bed – but for other reasons! Oooh matron!

Covered verandah time (in other words place to dry out bathers, put boogie boards/surf boards and dump sandy shoes) but hey there is the laundry so…there’s that.  Bronik & Corrine’s areas with living room, outdoor shower, shower room yadda yadda.  Bronik nailed the outdoor area with the fence & outdoor shower. Boy helps being a bloke on this show & having trade skills – yep sure does.  Love how the judges keep acting like they are surprised by areas – bless.  Oh and has no one told these folks wallpaper is a bitch in areas that get wet & hot from a shower or laundry. Trust me – peeling! Should just be tiles and paint.  Living room & they love it – great TV – pity there is no reception there – but hey it’s a big black box!

Cassie & Matt now and Cassie at one point stopped crying like a toddler to do stuff but still didn’t get everything done. Mention Panadol Matt – MENTION PANADOL!  Judges find faults in Cassie & Matt’s areas and they are goners! It’s a given. I like their kids rooms but the judges need to send someone home so…oh god – light switches! It’s a kids room – not a penthouse in New York!  I do agree the wallpaper in the kitchen is not suitable. Ok this is long – bless you for sticking with it! I’ll finish soon promise! Time to let the locals in to nick stuff! Bring it on! “Ooooowe geez it’s noice” is the general reaction.

Back to home base with Joh in AQUA…and time for nosey neighbours to come check the place out. They all love it, no negative reviews so that must be true huh?  Watching it second time it’s like Cassie & Matt already know they are goners! The rest of the teams are thrilled and excited – Cassie & Matt are like ‘yep, fine…whatever…we are goners’. Maybe the show tells them before final judging so there is no attacking Joh or punching the other teams??  Back at home base and lots of tens handed out – Danielle & Ben, Corrine & Matt all get tens. Ryan & Marlee get a nine & eight.  To be fair Wendy THEY didn’t just achieve it all – there was loads of tradies and others painted the outside of the house – but yes still hard work. Not forgetting the plumber and building supervisor – hello boys! Call me!

Oye – who built the picket fence?  Be nice to see everything being done even if it’s not the teams! Just saying.  Nearly finished – promise. Tiana & Steve time & I agree with Wendy – more vintage pieces. Those fantastic furniture draws and bedside tables don’t cut it. They still get nine from each judge. Bye bye Cassie & Matt. Joh tells Marlee & Ryan they could be going home but they don’t look worried one bit! Rightfully so – Matt and Cassie are sent packing and what – Cassie cries? No way – impossible! My recording ran out again even though I prolonged recording time but see ya – wouldn’t want to be ya! Well actually they got the entire inside of their house renovated so I take that back!

See you tonight for …for… outsides I’m guessing? Who knows. Cio bellas.

Gidget x

June 30, 2015   37 Comments

Guest Post: House Rules – Day 2 Of The Hervey Bay Challenge

Gidgit is back (follow her on Twitter here) with another recap of House Rules and over to Gidgit:

It’s all very secretive on site as teams try to hide their ideas for absolutely no reason what so ever. Who is going to build a 2ND outdoor shower?? Let’s be serious. So we see the final home AGAIN and stop showing it! It’s ruining the surprise of what it looks like and obviously shows they DID pull it all together to get it done – well the outside anyway!!

Hervey Bay so more whales, beach, whales, beach. Over to the house and it’s day…who the hell knows?  I just know it’s going to be a mad panic on the last day and that outside painting of that house is going to be full on. We have a house around the same ‘era’ of that house. Had the outside painted and it was a six day job – seriously! Sanding, base paint then final colour – two coats…old house needs a lot of care…and time! And no asbestos in this house again? Hmmm??

Danielle is being a bit of a pain in the arse in this renovation and the only girl left standing I really like is Marlee! Yes it’s stressful but you’ve all been doing it now for a while! Get a grip!  Danielle picks the smallest bath on earth – about the size of a sink – but still bigger than OUR bathtub. No stretching out let me tell you.  Bronik and Corrine’s tiles for the ‘shower room’ show up and I do like them – unlike the delivery guy who REALLY doesn’t.  Surprise surprise – teams tell us none of them want to go home. No shit Sherlock! You want your mortgages paid off – why would you WANT to go home?

Steve & Tiana are going ahead with their castle cubby house idea which Caroline Burns McDisneyland loved and I’m all ‘eh’ about. HOT building supervisor rocks up to tell Steve that they are about to build it on sewage pipes and hey kids – poopy pool to ride the fireman’s pole into! Weee! Hot damn the tradies in Hervey Bay are hot! Tropical heat – you bet your ass! Call me!  Great editing of Steve just standing there like a deer in headlights having no idea what to do! I laughed. Meanwhile Ben & Danielle are having a tiffy. Yet again Danielle is distracted by a dog while shopping (and I would be too unless it was a certain breed I refuse to mention). Caroline Burns McBathtub is back to tell Ben their choice of bathtub could not even bathe her it’s so small! Oye – our bathtub is smaller than that and I have the cleanest ankles ever!

She’s right of course and Ben & Danielle need to order a new bath that takes up all the space without the little shelf thingie. Just put a stool by the side of the bathtub for razors, soap etc like they do on The Block! Oh and I bet Danielle has naturally wavy/curly hair and straightens her hair every morning! I know my hair. Back from ad break & just saw someone throwing away an original door – not happy Jan.  Oooh yes Ben – talk to the plumber! Yowzas! Hot hot hot – and not the weather! It’s gable-gate between Marlee & Ryan and Danielle & Ben. Everyone wants to stay but they all still need to renovate a complete home that flows – not a mish mash.  I am winning it after-all so pull your shit together people!

Bronik & Corrine are happy with their outdoor show…fuck that there is the plumber again! Be still my beating heart. Bronik announces the outdoor shower and the secret it out. Big deal – who cares? They boys playing with the vacuum was amusing – especially as Bronik couldn’t do it! Ryan & Marlee – well Ryan’s – plan is double carport and needs concrete laid but again HOT building supervisor rocks up (welcome any time) to tell Ryan he needs to change plans. It’s a knock on effect as all their outside areas meet up.  Now with Ryan moving his area it’s caused more strife for Steve. Poor Steve. Go hitch hiking which is illegal in Qld – so I was told! Steve is worried about his castle & I’m thinking it’s going to look like Piss Weak World from The Late show!

Oh so twitter on screen picker picks ‘excited to see us the outside shower is going’ but not any of mine? Jeez what did I do to you? Actually probably slept with you then kicked you to the curb. Ok makes sense now. Steve is again told more plans for other teams outside areas and the poor guy is like a puppy lost on the highway.  I am not ‘keen’ on Cassie but credit for rescuing the original homes windows. They could be used for a lot of things – especially as WINDOWS! But they are going to LED light one of them and what is happening to the others? Tiana has a plan for the bedroom & REALLY wants a four poster bed so the winning couple can tie each other up? That’s my guess anyway.

One thing I know is you cannot have your ‘heart set’ on ANYTHING with a renovation! You have to be open minded within reason. She has no luck at Forty Winks so finds a really nice furniture store and finds a PERFECT four poster bed but wants a darker colour. Noooooooooo! That one is perfect. Love the washed out grey style. Buy it and change your style of the room! Different woods do work together. Ever seen an all pine room! Dear god!

First deliveries arrive and it’s looking good for my home. Oh god it’s another cute dog so Danielle has gone goo goo!  The lads are giving Ben shit over how small his bathtub is and so they should! Ben goes to rip the bath out but Ryan and Matt are in it and GROUP BATH! Two days to go and that is NOT a king size Tiana! I know my beds and that is a double. We have a king and we have to pack a lunch to meet each other in the middle!

Cassie it out shopping as well and finds a bunk bed that she wants assembled on delivery and good luck getting that through the door when it arrives. Guess we’ll get to laugh at that tonight!  Guessing you can separate them so maybe not so funny? Due to no neighbours within screaming range and council permission – everyone keeps working into the night. Steve & Tiana’s art studio – oh sorry cubby house (art studio) is looking naff. Ryan is working hard tiling and is not a stranger working in the dark…hmmm working at what? What’s in your basement Ryan? Ben & Danielle get their SLIGHTLY bigger bathtub at around 9pm and it’s suddenly the day before reveal and I’m confused…and slightly itchy. I HATE Bronik & Corrine’s diagonal wall thing – horrible! Goners!

Ryan & Marlee are building a build in seating area for dining for ‘heaps of kids’ and be funny if a childless couple win this but no way that is happening! They are REALLY playing up the whole family with kids business! Marlee wants to do the foam seating herself so off to foam shop (didn’t know they existed?) so foam guy gets her to sit on all his foam – ooooh matron! And really not suited with the butt song for Marlee is it? She’s a tiny little thing. Would have been better with a song about foam or squishy or pervy foam sale’s guys!

So my Foxtel IQ3 recording has run out AGAIN! I need to fix that – or they do – or Ch 7 does! Stop running overtime! Channels be cray cray with their running overtime!  More happened but I can’t remember and I have Lost Undercity Worlds to watch! Check you all tonight on twitter: @GidgitVonLarue You will see I rehash tweets like a crazy person!

Ciao lovlies.

June 23, 2015   72 Comments

Guest Post: House Rules – Harvey Bay Holiday Reno Begins

Gidgit is back with her latest recap on House Rules. Thank you Gidgit:

Brian and Karina are gone – bye – and it’s onto Hervey Bay. The contestants are confused as they are marched onto a beach and are probably thinking they’ll be building sandcastles.  Oooh sneak peak of what the holiday house looks like finished and WOW! I missed that while watching the show live tonight.  It looks gorgeous. So it’s Hervey Bay so lots of shots of whales, beach, whales…beach. And notice like in My Kitchen Rules ch 7 seem to instruct their contestants to dress in VERY similar outfits like some kind of reality show costume. Think I’m delusional. Ok – Tiana: short sleaved top with crazy necklace & when working black unflattering legging things. Corrine – top that ties at the shoulders and red lipstick. Danielle – top with lace around the short cropped armholes, plaits and MC hammer baggie pants and Marlee trucker top. I shit you not. They have ‘costumes’ for them in case we get confused with Ryan for Cassie???

It’s Joh Diggs- into- the- sand to greet them then take them past those pesky fucking trees blocking the view to the area where the Qld style house in two parts is being delivered. On a personal note the house myself & Colonel bought had the same thing happen! Was cut in half and moved. And no matter how precise they put the house back together again – walls are wonky, floor is wonky – everything is kinda wonky!  Not fun house bad – but hell for trades laying new skirting boards let me tell you!

The teams are told they all have to renovate this home inside and out and some lucky viewer (me) is going to win it. I mean someone that entered the competition to win it (me).  It did just sound like Tiana said “no more Gidg” but it was “no more mortgage” – bummer! The house has to be assembled so the teams read the rules:

  1. Revitalise this Queenslander with charm & character (don’t chuck out any original features)
  2. Inspire with pattern and colours (pastel city baby)
  3. Build a magical childrens hide-away in the backyard (send the kids into the forest to play)
  4. Add touches of luxury inside and out (add a toilet)
  5. Deliver the ultimate dream family holiday home (it’s free – who would complain?)

The teams don’t have much else to do first day as the builders snap together the home & make sure it doesn’t break apart in a small breeze.  Day 2 & the teams get to check out the space of the house. Huge rooms with very high ceilings and I’m loving it and did they really leave the old oven in it to move it – I think not!  Joh is back to tell them there are five zones. I won’t go through that but they all do have to decide their own zone. I do question a ‘kids bedroom’ and should rather be a kids/study room.  Cassie & Matt get first choice of their zone from having won last week.  They pick kitchen, kids bedroom & exterior 5. Front deck, entry and dining room plus zone 1 – Ryan and Marlee.  Guest bedroom, bathroom, rear deck & outside zone 2 is Ben & Danielle. Master bedroom, laundry, covered side verandah and zone 3 including ‘magical childrens hide-away’ (a locked basement???) – Steve & Tiana and finally living room, shower room and exterior zone 4 is Bronik & Corrine. They have six days so get to it kids!

Oh and I have a feeling all of us smart people with no kids will NOT be winning this house. Ch 7 will want to show a ‘fully formed family’ with 2 to 3 kids who can play in the kids area yadda yadda. Not two folks in a cool relationship with no rug rats. Just my assumption! Guessing Larry & George with dog Judy Garland won’t be moving in any time soon!?

It’s Ben & Danielle’s tiny bathroom and time for Carolyn Burns McBadIdeaBarbie to tell them they really should be good at this by now. Corrine loves the idea of an outside shower & great idea.  Ryan & Marlee are using their outside space to build a carport & hope it has a driveway to get to it? Marlee covers Ryan’s mouth with masking tape and I would too – we just want him for the body, not his ‘personality’. Steve & Tiana are playing in a kids playground and it’s kind of creepy. Tiana doesn’t like kids (right there with you girl) even though she has a very young brother??

Ben & Danielle want to make an ‘outdoor kitchen’ ala a BBQ right? Ben is in charge of organising the kitchen & wants a modular kit but Danielle hates them because you know – boxes.  Ben has a win and I hope that herpes sore on his lip heals up soon.  Back from break and oh those beautiful original windows – eh fuck em Matt thinks and turfs them all in the skip! Thank god Cassie has some class and rescues them. Guys care about original features as much as I care about waxing my legs – that’s what razors are for! Cassie is an emotional rollercoaster but seriously Matt is a bit ‘sandwich short of a picnic’. Nice guy but as dim as dimmer lights.  Tiana wants to build a castle and in rocks Carolyn Burns McCinderella to notice Tiana cannot draw for shit! But she DOES like the idea of their kids playground.  Phew!

Oh look – men and women are different! Yep. Time for freak out and Steve is pissed about 66 mill wall thing over his side or some shit? Any girl understand this? Steve seems to be looking for a barney but it’s Ben and Ben doesn’t barney. Danielle on the other hand….hmm. Ben is being VERY agreeable (compared to that dick Brian) so no big deal. All solved.  Danielle and Cassie are both out shopping and happen to pick the same tile out of HUNDREDS of tiles. Funny that.  Bronik & Corrine are cutting out half of the original wall to plaster and put flower blue wallpaper on the top. Ummm…not sure about that to be honest? Ben is sweet but a bit of a pussy let’s face it.

Ryan would be mega hot if not for all that graffiti over his body (call me old fashioned – go on) and meanwhile Danielle notices in Matt & Cassie’s car they have the same tiles. To be fair Danielle has a whole bathroom to do – Cassie just has a kitchen backsplash. You lose Cassie.  A pop up plant nursery arrives and all teams battle it out like it’s a truck of free cocaine (or would that just be me?) Sadly Tiana & Steve don’t care about plants but that is not the point folks. You have an outside area to do. I’m not into toilets but had to pick one for our bathroom! Tiana is still annoying – just saying. That is over and now day 3. Tiana finds a free standing wardrobe so goes to fetch it. Her taking the car means dad Steve realizes he needs more plants so HITCH HIKES to a nursery. Jeez show – give him a lift for shit sake! He could get picked up by some serial killer…or worse…a bogan!

It’s now Ryan & Marlee Vs Matt & Cassie re pavers Vs imprinted concrete and I’m with concrete. It doesn’t look cheap and nasty if done right but pavers win because Ryan has really white teeth.  Hell I’m shocked they have good internet and mobile phone connection there!! Meanwhile Tiana has gone to collect her free standing wardrobe and it is really nice but she doesn’t know how to reverse with a trailer or know her left & right. PRINCESS! Pretty sure the seller didn’t step up to drive just to have a laugh.  God I hate bad drivers! Catch a fucking bus! If you can’t reverse park in less than 3 moves – give it up and get at Opal card! Some blonde woman picks up Steve & he gets to the nursery. Calls Tiana to come pick him up throwing her into Princess mode again.  Ryan moves the carport because he doesn’t want the home owners (me) looking onto the carport. Fair call.  Can’t help but think saving money on all those tattoo’s could have been put into Ryan & Marlee’s house? Well recording has run out but it was nearly over. Not much happened after that so check you all tonight for night 4…5…ah who the hell knows! Cio puppies!

June 22, 2015   35 Comments

Guest Post: House Rules – It’s off to Western Australia to see dancing horses?

Thanks to Gidgit Von La Rue for keeping the House Rules recaps going. Please follow her on Twitter here and over to Gidgit:

If you don’t get the El Caballo Blanco reference you are younger than me. Good luck to ya!  Really it’s Brian and Karina’s house. They live in a very very remote place which is four hours EACH WAY to the nearest city which is Perth.  Brian and Karina have three kids and like living remotely (crazy people).  Turns out there is good mobile reception out there which I call bullshit on as I don’t live as remotely and just drive 10 minutes out of the main street where I live and good luck getting reception of any kind!  Show must have trucked in some mobile towers?

Their house is a 40 year old Spanish villa and they owe over $300,000 mortgage. Researching the area guessing up front they paid $250 for it? Hey at least it has a pool (with no pool fence). Guessing they find all sorts of lovely things like snakes and spiders and bugs and drowned kangaroos in it! Yes I’m steely eyed – and sarcastic.  Brian works as a shift worker in the mining industry and Karina specialises in having no taste.  They tell us it’s their ‘forever home’ but we all know anyone that says that eventually moves. I mean the kids must go nuts out there! And looks like it doesn’t get much rain!

It’s Joh Starshirt Griggs and last reno inside for all the teams who all show up thinking ‘where the hell are we?’  Sorry but all the blokes have obvious tradie skills – why haven’t they don’t work on their OWN homes??  The teams check out the house and no dancing horses sadly. I am over in these homes the ‘apartment style laundry’. They are homes. Give them a proper god damn laundry room! Not a cupboard!  So it’s zone time.  Zone 1 which is kitchen, linen closet and Bailey’s bedroom is Steve and Tiana. They are chuffed finally getting a kitchen. Zone 2 is the dining room and Lara’s room is Ben and Danielle. Zone 3 is the entry, living room, walk in pantry and laundry is Ryan and Marlee (because they know Ryan works his ass off every single time and can handle it). Zone 4 is the master bedroom, the ensuite and the halls and is Cassie and Matt. Zone 5 Daniel’s bedroom and bathroom is Bronik and Corrine.  And due to the very very remote location they are ALL living in tent city on the property. Ben and Danielle can choose to stay in the hotel as they were winners last week  but opt for the hotel.

Turns out all the girls get to stay in the hotel first night anyway as they have to stay in Perth to do more shopping! The Brian and Karina house rules:

  1. Style our house desert coastal
  2. Bring the outside in with texture and tone
  3. Give natures treasures pride of place
  4. Give brass and copper to our kitchen
  5. Make our kids bedroom #totesEpic

The teams scamper to get ‘kept’ items and the rest go to the local nature to set up their own home – Kangaroo B&B.  It’s nice the kids could leave particular instructions for what they like. Their youngest girl likes the solar system so I see those fluro glow star stickers etc all over her ceiling! Lets see if I’m right? Time to put up tents and I loved my dad with all my heart – but I would not want to have shared a tent with him. The girls decide on a road trip because – well – remote and stuff. They boys stay behind to do demo and YAY – they are looking up google images for inspiration before the girls leave! I’m so happy!  It’s already the night of day 6 and what the hell occurred day 7?

The rooster wakes them all up from their restful slumbers in the tents and time for girls to drive the FIVE HOURS to ANYTHING to go shopping in Perth (that’s five hours one way) while I think the guys are rather happy to be rid of them. Don’t see many petrol stations on that four hour trip so hope the cars are filled up! They lads take to the house like termites into a wood wall and they seem to be getting more stuff done than previously. Hmmm, no women = getting more done. Zone wars are usually a nightmare but the guys alone sort it out in under 10 minutes! Get the drift folks of next season – get rid of the chicks!

Plus side for 5 hours travelling the non-drivers have a lot of time to plan things out! How’s that serenity! The boys need to do the measuring to give the girls in Perth so they can buy the right stuff. Five hours one way people! Wouldn’t want to have an accident or need a platter of sushi urgently! Demo time and they lads go nuts. The house is double brick but that doesn’t stop the guys from knocking lots of walls down to make the living/dining area larger. Bye arches! The girls are STILL driving and glad this is not in real time! Matt has a great plan for the bathroom but Cassie is a big sook so good luck with that.

After 3 weeks the girls finally hit Perth and there is no time to waste. They need to get EVERYTHING done, order everything, buy everything – the lot!  Summer Rye bench top – good choice Marlee! Cassie is waiting for Matt to send measurements and it’s Carolyn Burns McMeasurement to sort Matt out.  Burns McShutters gives Matt great suggestions – or actually tests him making HIM come up with the ideas! Bit of a school teacher going on there Carolyn! And if that doesn’t work…what would you do? I don’t know, you tell me! But fair – not fair if Carolyn designs it. Cassie is now freaking out over the new ideas with shutters but Cassie ALWAYS freaks out and cries.  On the other hand Tiana and Steve are working well apart and she’s knows it!

Back to Matt & Cassie and Cassie falls apart like a toddler in a lions cage. Panadol add with Brian and Karina and that is DEFINITELY not their home!! Just saying.  Also all those bricks could be re-sold!  God Cassie is just a god damn mess of a woman. She’s done this on every reno aside from when her house was being done.  I have a feeling this is going to be the best renovation. Kids involved plus more experience and now they are actually looking up inspiration! That night the boys try to cheer up Matt but that would mean putting Cassie in cement boots and taking her for a swim. Next day more demo as the girls go on their second shopping trip to sort out the rest of everything they need. Matt is still depressed and women know how they can make guys feel like that like a charm! Day four and shit it goes fast! More shopping for the girls & they are actually picking out really nice stuff. I approve.  Marlee is killing it with lounge and coffee table! Cassie has stopped sooking finally & is getting on with it.  Don’t like her white plastic looking choices for bathroom but ADORE her stone basins choice. ‘Bring nature in’ kinda vibe.

I want to win Lotto JUST to buy a huge home to buy all new furniture! Weird huh! Back in the back of nowhere – Matt & Ryan share a bit of ‘faux bathtub manly love’. Time to load up with CAGED trailers & back to the middle of nowhere and Corrine wants Cassie’s basins (don’t blame her) Also one of the boxes falls off the CAGED trailers (hmmmmm) but all good. The boys head to the beach after day 4? Watch out for those sharks! The girls get back dropping Danielle off at the local hotel to join Ben. Boys are ‘kinda’ happy to have the girls back. Corrine is getting the stone basins after Cassie…rejects them? Seriously? Is she nuts! Oh that’s right – she is. I did do Sun night write up but hope RR is safe.

See you tonight chicka peas!

June 9, 2015   116 Comments

Guest Post: House Rules – The Tassie Reno Continues With Flamingos

Gidgit is back with the latest recap! Thanks and over to Gidgit:

Not long to go and the teams have taken Cassie & Matt’s house rules so literally it’s going to be a pirate ship crossed with Austin Powers. Tiana was cold in the tent and oooh poor dear.  Bronik did an awesome job of fixing the hole in the original floor boards and it all looks amaze balls! All teams are very appreciative and nice to have some unity. That won’t last long.

All these women are with men who have major tradie skills – but you know what- my man can fix my computer & get any show I want to watch and I’ll take that over building a deck any day! I SO want a record player but Colonel is too scared I’m turning hipster – so youtube it is.  Brian & Karina have gone with triangle tiles that I’m all ‘eh’ about. So many tiles to choose from – that’s what you pick? Bet they cost a pretty penny too! Don’t need to buy expensive stuff to be stylish. Danielle is still whinging and it doesn’t suit you doll.

Ben & Danielle are putting cheap plywood up in the bedroom and….ummmm…. yuk! At least stain it! Reminder all teams have to take an old tip piece of something and upmarket it for the house. To me Brian and Karina are doing the best recycle and I like their sideboard item from the garage sale but many don’t! Oh young people!  Hey it’s Carolyn Burns McSofa! Tiana has not chosen the sofa correctly and she corrects her. Well done!  Now it’s time for Tiana’s dad Steve to go shopping and he’s acting like he’s being sent to a concentration camp. It’s shopping Steve – get over it.

To be fair Tiana is being her normal princess self – just ask the damn store person “what couch do you have that has a 60’s vibe?” Not hard. Poor Steve is freaking out finding a sofa so goes get a rug and I like it! Good choice Steve.  Guessing he’s at Harvey Norman? Reminder that sofa he picked was over 2 grand so very curious as to each couples budget. Reno rules tells us! HINT HINT! Marlee is out shopping and loves it (you go girl) and is buying everything in Hobart. Marlee is also a ‘lower position’ driving wheel driver which I hate. Two hands people – you are not special driving with one!

Danielle has bought some candle holder from Vinnies and wants to turn it into coat rack. If that works out I’ll eat my beanie. Steve wants to return their huge TV because he’s run out of money and Tiana is being an asshole.  Steve is adorable! He gets a new TV and is chuffed! Bronik is back at the house with his crazy eyes. Corrine is chuffed one of their builders is selling an old surfboard and seriously they are everywhere. Calm the farm. One hour to go and everyone seems WAY too relaxed.  Marlee has bought a plastic flamingo and Danielle is pissed because she apparently owns all flamingo and plywood copyright??

Brian & Karina picked the triangle tiles and they don’t have enough to finish. Oh by the way – their tiler is HOT! Less Brian – more tiler boy please!  Welcome to Tasmania – EVERYTHING aside from seafood and sheep has to be shipped from the mainland! Plus the accommodation is mental overpriced – trust me. Pretty…and expensive! Cheaper going to Chicago! Brian & Karina are pulling off tiles due to lack of tiles. Night ends and all the teams get together to eat fried stuff. Let the night begin and time for painting. Tiana goes on a hug fest and it’s kind of adorable – even for this old bitter broad.  When Tiana hugged her dad even I got a bit…a bit….sarcastic. Nahh, it was sweet.

Oh dear god Danielle – not pink on the front door – for all that is good and right in the world – not pink!! Brian is taping up a cape for Bronik as ‘super tradie’ and Bronik loves it! Someone’s house is coming up to be renovated and trying to be adorable!  Karina is a mess after the hug fest and wipes her tears in a REALLY weird way. Was that just me that noticed that? Closing on 3am and time for that HORRIBLE wallpaper that Cassie and Matt left to go up. God it’s horrid. And not even in a quirky fun way! It’s like a Florida dementia home wall!  “It’s ok dear – yes you are still a shop keeper – back you go”.  God these guys are workers! They work their guts out. Oh crap Corrine has used plywood in her kitchen! Watch out for Danielle! She’ll rip your eyes out. The re-invention items are all a bit lame aside from Brian & Karina’s to be honest but let’s see how they turn out. It is the last day so massive panic from everyone. Tiana needs some artwork and honestly picks the best artwork with that John Lennon glasses person she had no idea about. Oh this new generation. We have access to more information than ever before – but the young know less than any generation before. I’ve turned into my parents! Fuck!

It’s ‘grout-gate’ and Brian stole Corrine’s blue grout but does make amends with getting Karina to get more blue grout. Not hard. Get more! Oh and make Brian pay for it out of his budget! Everyone is into full ‘get it finished’ mode. Brian is still an asshole as you KNOW what you have bought! He KNEW that was not his grout. Danielle and Ben are waiting on their custom made bed head which is nice – but their pink door is appalling! Aside from the colour, it’s painted very badly. Not slick at all. And I don’t care what anyone says – I like that sideboard that Brian picked! Just not the tiles! They do not mix at all! We are reminded the judges have pretty much hated all the laundries so far and turns out Danielle and Ben have order the wrong dryer! It’s not to be mounted on the wall.  On a personally sense if I could have floor washer and dryer I would! These dinky things are just not good enough for washing sheets and lots of clothes. These are homes, not apartments – where are the solid big laundries?

Carolyn Burns McWrongDryer rocks in to tell them…well it’s not the right dryer! Turns out Danielle did not think the dryer was not MEANT to be mounted or you would have to be 7 foot to reach the controls and it’s too heavy! It’s a no go Danielle! Ryan’s BBQ arrives for their deck and he is a very hard worker – and hot. Why are you shopping Marlee – you could be smothering that man like a sex wench!?  I don’t think Danielle and Ben really thought out their space and seem to be slowly losing it big time. From the promo Tassie love their home but it could only get better – lets face it.

Sorry for no review the other night – had Britains Got Talent to watch! See you all Sunday night honey pies! x

June 4, 2015   33 Comments