Category — Dinner Date

It’s Dinner Date UK once more but after the mauling my senses suffered during X factor, I’m hopeful this won’t be too bad.

Tonight’s belle is Lucy,a 28 yo petite brunette. She’s a muso and piano teacher. She describes herself as a romantic at heart who likes a gentleman. She laments the death of chivalry. Foodwise,she loves fish.

There’s a firefighter,a gofing nut,a sales exec, an art director and lastly a recruitment exec for Lucy to choose from. No soccer hooligans please,we’re British. They seem like a pretty inoffensive looking bunch,probably made docile by watching Neighbours for too many years.

Lucy chooses Jamaican Donovan,33,the golfing nut Jimmy 25 and Chris 30 who looks uncannily like that beige-ass singer from Coldplay.

First date -Donovan.

The crew cutted Jamaican firefighter palns to land Lucy with a goat curry- he doesn’t know but Lucy has almost choked on goat before. Donovan’s blender craps itself and he’s desperately trying to grind up some carrot with a plastic spatula. he’s also worried about the goat being too tough because he didn’t know the age of the goat.

The real goat here is Donovan himself,who upon meeting Lucy,calls her ’Lisa”. Then he guesses her age incorrectly by nominating her 30.

Regular viewers of Dinner Date will know that Donovan has already ruined his chances with these two faux pas.

But Lucy is a gracious,fun guest and the evening soldiers on. She loves the soup ,which is pumpkin without the carrots. Pretty soon they’re into a singing duet of Endless Love. They’d probably get through to the final 12 in X factor. They have a warm hug.

Donovan’s a smooth talker. The goat “could have been more tender’ (It was as tough and dry as a dead dog’s ar$e) he says to her. No worries anyway, Lucy thinks it’s delicious.He owns up to gets away with a shop bought Jamaican ginger cake for sweets.

Lucy says Donovan is a gentleman .There’s a lot hugs as she leaves and Donovan scores her a perfect.three stars

Second Date -Jimmy

Jimmy ‘s had two glasses of rose preparing his meal. Entree is baked brie filo parcels with cranberry. A cod rissotto main and beries and choc are down the track.

Jimmy’s house looks a bit strange with not much in the way of wall a hangings ,paintings etc..He could use a look at The Renovators and get some vision. Lucy thinks Jimmy’s a gentleman.He did lift out her chair for her to sit,so did Donovan. A gentleman is someone who gets out of the bathtub to pee.(Olde Yorkshire figure of speech)

The cheese parcels are a fail because Jimmy’s burned them and a lot of cheese has oozed out of the parcels. Then he leaves Lucy for ages by herself while he stuffs around with the risotto. She’s got nothing to do but give the champers a real caning…which she does .

It’s large or as Matt Preston would say”generous” serving of risotto. Lucy loves it, Hopefully it’ll soak up some of the champers splashing around in her gut. Now she’s teaching Jimmy some salsa dance moves.

The frozen berries are served in a warm,white chocalte sauce. Lucy’s knocked out and starts talking French. She admits she got too drunk but had a lovely evening says he was sexy and had good muscles.

Jimmy rates Lucy 3 stars for personality and 2 for looks, which I thought was a little mean of him. Lucy’s a little quirky but has been an excellent guest.

Third date -Chris 30 Art Director.

He’s the Coldplay dude ,planning spicy mussels, homemade “rustic’ pizza and a chocolate fondant dessert.

Chris hasn’t practiced choc fondant in advance and he’s soon up shit creek and has to phone a know it all mate. He’s off to the shop to try and get some more sugar. He’s having problems with the dough for the “rustic” home made pizza,too but Chris is still optimistic.

Lucy’s on her way,hungover with more booze and a photo of herself as a gift for Chris. On meeting,she thinks Chris is nice but that his clothes are a bit tight.

Lucy’s up for some more warbling and let’s her pipes rip with a tilt at Nessum Dorma. Chris says he like it. Lucy’s in the loungeroom ,sitting on the floor ,getting more loaded. She thinks he called her “Suzi”,which I think he did but made he made up some BS excuse about his accent.

Chris has burned the home made”rustic’ pizza but it still looks alright and by this time legless Lucy reckons it’s “delicious”. The sweets are an anlikely triumph after the earlier problems.

Chris reckons he fancies her and scores her three stars. Lucy concludes that it’s been fun and in a way was open to seeing all of them again. Loose Lucy. Of course, still she did have criticisms of the guys. She didn’t like Donovan guessing her age and getting it wrong.

The “chewy’ goat presents problems for a lady to eat with dignity. Donovan wasn’t a good singer,finally. Jimmy left her on her own too long, she says. He definitely did.

Lucy chooses Chris because they laughed a lot,had lot in common and were both “a bit scatty”.

The lucky couple went out to dinner together but we are glumly informed that the two are”still single’ and ‘yet to set another date”. That’s how it rolls on Dinner Date.

There has been much angst about where the Aussie version of Dinner Date has gone. I have tried to find out whether there are anymore in the can or if they will be doing a second season… Will let you know when I do.

But thanks again to BDD for taking the time to guest post on this entertaining show and can someone please help him and tell him what a “meat sweat” is:

It’s UK Dinner Date once again. As usual we start ten minutes late and I’ve already seen a bit of the Charlie Sheen Roast whilst waiting.

 Tonight’s date is Peter. He’s 28,in a”high flying” advertising job.Rugby nut and been single for a year and a half. Says he’s picky and forthright and a woman would need to have thick skin and be able to take a joke to be with him.(That’s enough of a warning for me) His teeth are pretty bad for 28 and he’s “ruggedly” handsome in a Gordon Ramsay kind of way.

 He chooses the menus of Bella 22brunette, Charlotte 24 blonde and Jo 27 blonde. There’s an ad break so I go back to the Charlie Sheen roast.Surely that will win the ratings in this timeslot this week.

 First Date Bella

 She’s an antique book seller in “Daddy’s business”. Stiff upperclass English accent down pat,she’s looking for a “nice chap” and an old fashioned courtship. She’s made a big effort with the hair in a “40′s style” and stumped up French menu.There’s hushed talk of a “secret sauce” of Bell’s,too.

 When Peter turns up,he finds himself being ordered aound like a slave and on the receiving end of Bella bragging about her cooking exploits.Still she burns the butternut she’s been preparing. These two don’t exactly hit it off.

 Peter leaves very quickly.He thinks she’s eccentric and later says she’s she’s slightly crazy and could make him an embarrassment with his rugger mates.He does praise Bella’s cooking ,saying it was almost restaurant quality.( I didn’t believe him)

 Bella rates him 2 out of 3 stars.( I missed something offensive he said earlier in the date. Feel free to update that,anyone)

 Second date

 Charlotte is an aspiring actress,possibly a bottle blonde. She’s managed to snare Peter’s appetite with a Fillet Steak and an intriguing dark chocolate mousse.

 For a big occasion like this ,in true Ma$terchef tradition, Charlotte tells us that she hasn’t made much of this food before and is truly winging it without any scales in the kitchen. She’s however confident that her “wit and charm “ will get her through the night. Just in case,she’s got a black dress and some alledgedly flash french champagne to help. Charlotte’s hoping for a bloke who isn’t scruffy or in brown shoes.

 The woman doing the voiceovers is on fire tonight, I’m loving her commentary. She points out how Peter insuts Charlotte’s job when he arrives and how Charlotte has cheated by providing canapes not on the menu as hors d’oeuvres.

 Charlotte finds Peter cocky and full of himself even when he’s producing mindless conversation about being confused about Norfolk and Cornwall.

She used to think Prague was a country. She’s not happy about the brown boots Peter’s wearing. Fair enough,they look absolutely mange- ridden. Both, however acknowledge that the other is “good looking’.

 In the kitchen ,the chips and the veggies are sticking to the baking foil. Peter’s not much help as he’s just busted the cork on the champagne.

 The main is a giant steak,which Peter is glowing about.So big is the steak, Charlotte claims to have broken into a “meat sweat”. Now ,what the hell is that?

They seem to hit it off pretty well and Charlotte concludes that she “fancies him”,boots and all rating him 2.5 stars because he was ‘cocky’.

 Third date

 Jo 27 is of Cornish heritage and works as a dance instructor.She’s snared Peter with the promise of beer battered Cod with mushy peas. Also there’s her signature dish ,the choc brownies.

 Jo doesn’t give a rats ar$e about scales either,saying she ignores the measurements and does her own thing. She’s been single for two years and says she’s not a romantic person into cooing and canoodling.(The rugby nut could just be your cup of tea.)

 The voiceover woman kicks Jo’s ar$e about using a colander to sift the flour for the beer batter and about the likely outcome for the “signature” brownies.

Peter arrives and reckons Jo is “very pretty”. There are candles and an ornate table settings.The tomato salad entree is a success but there’s a big problem with the cod because Peter reckons it will take ages for the cooking oil to heat up.

 Eventually the Cod is a success but Jo should have kept quiet about her special tartare sauce which is an awful failure as Peter hates it anytime.. Cagily, Peter traps Jo about the alleged “home made Cornish “icecream to go with the brownies. She’s forced to reveal it came form a Supermarket.

 Peter says that in spite of the problems in the kitchen he enjoyed the evening and Jo gives him three stars. Time for Peter to decide.

 Peter sends a microwave meal around to Bella’s place,describing her as ”eccentric” “bossy”.He hated the “secret sauce”,too.

 Charlotte gets a microwave meal,too. Peter said that he felt very comfortable with her. (Would have been my choice)

 Peter goes for Joe for another dinner date. We’re told that one month later Peter and Jo are still single but dating.

 Voiceover lady is great,a feature of the show.

So glad BDD decided to recap the UK version of the show as it was a corker. I must confess I had thought Dinner Date was a home grown Australian reality show. But note to self whenever a Network announces a new reality show I must google to see where it has come from…..

Over to you BDD:

Last night Ch 7 slipped in an episode of Dinner Date UK instead of the usual Manu et al. I didn’t take notes and have made just a few observations on last night’s offering.

So Dinner Date Aust has been modelled on this version from the UK. The Australian producers have merely added Manu and his pieces to camera. In this free to air timeslot Dinner Date doesn’t have much to flog- NCIS Los Angeles,Top Gear,SBS News and QI. I expect it’s still doing quite well ratings wise.

Late night’s male quarry was a massive loser -of hair. We’ll call him “Sort Of”-he said it every second word. He’s gone on the first two dates and complained of finding a human hair on this plate. Turned out it was his own hair. He didn’t really want to own up to that either. He looked about thirty,pretty confident and a bit of an advice giving smartarse when it came to food. At least a few of the Aussie guys have asked if they could help- even if they didn’t mean it.

The first date was early thirties and honest enough to admit that she couldn’t cook. She notices straight away that Sort Of is a shorta$$ and contemplates removing her heels. She burnt the fillet steak and smoked out the kitchen while Sort Of was left to keep Lucky the cat company( he’s in for some good scraps later). Sort Of finally braves the smoky kitchen and tells her to let the charred remains “rest’ and the raw interior will cook. She does an appalling pencil portarait of Sort Of that looks more like the transgender contest on X Factor. She scores Sort Of 2out of three stars.

Sort Of’s second date is younger,25 and been in a relationship for 8 years before being single. The shorta$$ issue rears it’s ugly head as the hostess contemplates removing her heels. Sort Of finds another hair in his food and once more finds egg all over his face as the offending hair is examined carefully. Kofi Anan joins in at the table as well. The meal goes off quite well and Sort Of again scores 2 out of 3 stars.

The Third Date is a lively ,fun loving blonde who’s an obvious expert at overpacking luggage and Sort Of immediately guffaws to the camera about her dress sense. Sort of enjoys her sense of humour and they get through the first two courses without finding any hair. This girl is really keen on Sort Of.

The sweets scene is a highlight because the hostess manages to whisk white frothy material all around the kitchen,causing Sort Of to fall of his chair in mirth. There are some very telling Monica Lewinskyesque stains on her red dress. She’s playing with her hair a lot ,which she’d warned was a sign that she likes someone. She gives him an enthusiastic three stars.

Sort Of is diplomatic ,saying that Blondie is not his kind of girl”aesthetically speaking” but would be great company “as entertainment’.

Sort of plonks for date no 2 ,the tall classy ,brunette, best cook, youngest of the three. First or second date were both appealing imo.

Dinner Date Australia is probably a big improvement on last night.The show was ten minutes late starting,I know that’s probably because of X Factor. I hope the Australian eps are returned soon.

Thanks again to Brain Dead Dave for taking the time to guest post this entertaining show. Now what I want to have any of these people shagged on the night away? What do you think?

Over to you BDD:

Quelle heur est il? Il est neuf heurs et trente. Ici Manu avec”Dinner Date’

Manu introduces himself and blows some sunshine about being able to tell a lot about about a person by the way they cook.Celebrity chef, MKR,judge,award winning dancer and now psychiatrist. Is there anything he can’t do? Watch yer back,Kochie.

Meet Phoebe ( Manu thinks that’s “Fibby ” or even worse “VB”).She’s a 28 yr old fitness instructor who loves cooking. She’s been single for ten years. Admires a guy who’s good at something.

Phoebe is a gorgeous blue eyed blonde. If George Calombaris were here, it’d be “Wow,I’m salivating !” All that’s missing is a snake and an apple. Phoebe looks and moves like Black Caviar.She’s way hotter than Robyn from The Renovators.

Five hopefully diamond cutting guys are going to try and feed and romance Black Caviar. A stockbroker and video game geek miss the cut as Phoebe plonks for the Asian menu, the “wanky ” quail main menu and the French menu. She’s intrigued whether the guys are going to walk the talk spieled in their menus.

First date: Ray.is a 31 yr old chef. Reckons he hasn’t been on a date for seven years. He shows us his skill good at deboning quail and there’s a link to the Dinner Date website so the whole family can learn.

Phoebe is chauffered to the date in style. She’s gone for purple shoes with big heels,blue dress and earrings. The shagadelic fox says she’s nervous as the car arrives at Ray’s. There’s crescendo of dramatic library music as we go to the first ad break.

Ray’s cooking away,looking worried in his beanie and black shirt.He’s got a plant for Phoebe as a gift. When they meet, Phoebe notices quickly that she’s a lot taller than him and Ray tries to sugar coat the issue to himself by saying he had a 6′ 4 girlfriend once.

Ray’s understating it when he considers Phoebe” absolutely smoking”. Phoebe likes his smile and the way his eyes light up.

Entree is a winner.Scallops in a citrus butter and garnished with seaweed.Takes two minutes and Phoebe smiles a she eats them .She sas she loves them. Ray’s on fire so far. Thinking he’s on a roll, he asks Phoebe to come and meet someone special….his “other missus”,he lamely proclaims.

It’s a massive juice guzzling, orange V8. Ray’s a petrolhead. His sisters there.They go for a burn with Phoebe hoping he’s not obsessed with a car/cars but the last thing we hear in that scene is Ray rabbiting on about ”having a relationship’ with the car. Car or Back Caviar? It’s a no brainer.Phoebe’s glad that the car ride is over.

Phoebe loves quail and Ray’s managed to cook the “best quail’ she’s ever eaten. The euphoria from that is soon gone as Phoebe makes some enquiries about Ray’s ex. That kills the conversation and Phoebe observes that Ray is deflecting anything about love to other things ie the minutiae of baking cheesecake. Ray wonders (hopes) if she’s flirting with him.

The pannacotta and cheescake dessert went down a treat with Phoebe,too.

Phoebe declares she’s had a good night and that Ray hit a soft spot and touched her heart. Ray scores Phoebe a sensational first ever DD score of 11/10 for personality and 15/10 for looks.

Second date

Martyn,35 aerobics nut. Just before the ad break ,we hear Martyn blowing smoke about how he’s really gone out on a limb with this date and that “if he can pull it off,she won’t be able to resist me”. We’ll soon see how a Freudian psychologist would be in heaven with the gold this prawn produces.

Manu returns to praise Ray’s culinary skill but “ze car..not your best moof,buddy”.

We see Martyn peparing for the date,pumping some iron while Phoebe is excited because this was her favourite menu. Martyn thinks he’s going to wow Balck Caviar with a picnic atmosphere and he’s thrown down some blankets and cushions in to the loungeroom to that effect. What it looks like is a very desperately constructed seduction bower,complete with candles.

Words fail to convey the lameness of the appalling scene.

It’s an extremely juvenile effort for a 35 yr old. He makes a big deal out of the freshly shucked oysters with lime ,shallots and coriander. We hear that Phoebe doesn’t really like oysters and is worried about dashing Martyn’s confidence(don’t worry ,he hasn’t got any).

They meet and the Martyn is knocked out by the “blonde bombshell” Seating arrangements are a hassle for Phoebe because she’s been having cortisone injections in her knee.(years of kneeing guys in the balls will do that to you).

Phoebe and Martyn are both fitness freaks,like vegemite on toast and the colour yellow. Phoebe likes rhat at least they have that in common.

But Martyn’s going down slow. He foolishly asks Black Caviar how old she is. He guesses wrongly that she’s 30 He’s a goner. But wait,there’s more.

Marty feebly says “I feel I know you well enough to dim the lights”.

Luckily, he survives entree because surprisingly ,Phoebe like the oysters. However,the bearnaisse sauce for the salmon en croute main is causing a major problem because in true Ma$terchef tradition,Martyn’s never made it before. He’s surely seen a lot of Ma$terchef because “the eggs are faulty”,he cries. I’m watching The Bald And The Beautiful,here.

We return from an ad break with Martyn spluttering like Porky Pig about the chaos in the kitchen and Phoebe looking anxiously at her watch. It’s been an unacceptable two hour wait for the main but Phoebe’s gracious and declares she likes it. She wouldn’t have eaten at all unless she took over and helped and she was concerned about that affecting his manhood.

Moving like a sloth Martyn has taken twety minutes to scoop out the berry sorbet dessert. Phoebe’s not amused that it’s been a five and half hour date…more like an imprisonment. She’s also annoyed that Martyn went the full frontal mouth kiss,which was not her intention at all. She kindly describes Martyn’s getting “flustered ” as endearing. He scores Phoebe a 9/10,a little mean of him,imo.

Manu briefly returns to let us know that letting Phoebe stretch out on the floor for 5 1/2 hours is not ze French way. Tres bien,Manu.

Third date: Peter.(didnt get his age)

No flies on Peter .He’s dated models before. He’s just moved out of home into a bachelor pad but tonight’s date will be held back at Mum’s place.

Phoebe’s intrigued by the home made coconut sauce in Peter’s menu and is optimistic about the night. She’s in a tight blue dress and heels. She looks great.

She doesn’t know that Peter has cheated and used a can to make the coconut sauce(for “creaminess’,he says). After an ad break ,we seem them meeting at the door. There is an uncomfortable opening as Peter asks Phoebe to take off her hot shoes with the pathetically explanatory “Mum’s floorboards”.

Phoebe reckons that physically,Peter is her kind of guy and we hear some Justin Bieber music to indicate that love is in the air. Then there’s a cougar growl employed to suggest that Phoebe’s interest has been piqued by Peter being an underwear model.

Peter’s entree of a spicy seafood soup makes Phoebe cough and splutter and and Peter whips the plate away quicker than a rat up a drainpipe.

Main is going to be a Green Chicken Curry and to his credit ,Peter owns up about the can of coconut. Phoebe’s noticed the dryness of the rice and the unappetising appearance of the chicken legs..It does look bad.

Utensils are an issue here as Phoebe is trying to eat the chicken with a spoon and fork as provided. Peter hasn’t a clue and Phoebe asks if his Mum set the table. He’s embarrassed and takes the chicken away before Phoebe has finished. He’s off to plan the next disaster -the sorbet.

Peter calls for his Mum and she duly descends fro the top of the stairs. Phoebe tells us that she’s not into Mummy’s boys and that it’s intimidating to meet the m on a first date. That’s fair enough,too.. Phoebe concludes that it’s “kinda young ,but cute.” Mum takes over the sorbet problem and they have a group hug. Phoebe says that in spite of the disasters ,her and Peter had similar ideals.She liked Peter’s beautiful blue eyes.

Here’s Manu again probing with “Oo will Feeby shoes?”, suggesting that it all comes down to chemistry.

We see Phoebe packing for a night away and flashing us some sexy lingerie alledgedly “for tonight”. She chooses Ray,the chef and they fly off for a trip to the Blue Mountains.

For Phoebe ,it was shit sandwich-. the car nut, the guy with the el cheapo seduction bower that went for the tonguey or the Mamas’ boy. I think she chose the best on offer. She wears a great little black dress to dinner.

Phoebe says she had a wonderful sleep and Ray was complaining that he didn’t even get a hug.(go have relationship with your car,pal)

The final word from Manu is that they never saw each other again

“Cest la vie”

Dinner Date is back at it’s familiar timeslot 9.30 Tuesday after the briefest of flings in prime time. No Logies for Manu.

Brain Dead Dave is single handedly keeping the ratings going for Dinner Date, last night it easily won its time slot with over 770,000 viewers. Also in a funny exchange on Twitter. Someone tweeted me saying how they always loved reading the recaps on my blog the next day. I thinking it was about the other shows I recap tweeted back and said “Thanks”. Then I glanced at the previous tweets and saw they were talking about Dinner Date. I immediately  ’fessed up and said they were guest posts from BDD.

And again he has sent through a cracker – Over to you BDD:

We get the usual intro from Manu,seated in a flash restaurant. He may have had too many Cointreaus to stand up for this episode. He mumbled something about “Loff”,I think.

 Nick is 26 .He’s a fireman, outdoors type into surfing. Self confessed foodie,he reckons he’s passionate about and obsessed with food. Sounds like he’s been regurgitating a Ma$terchef script. Nick’s last relationship was five and a half years. As to it ending,Nick rolls out the old if you love something , you got to set it free-different paths and all that. He ‘s now been single for a year and is “ready for it” with room for someone else in his life. I didn’t think he was over it,personally.

 He looks to be a great package but his uncanny resemblance to Karl Stefanovic killed any hint of mojo this guy might have had for me for the whole program.

 Nick chooses three from five menus offered as usual on Dinner Date. They’re all good lookers.

 Sarah -First Date

 Missed her age( late 20′s maybe?) but she looks a gorgeous,knockout blonde with Phar Lap’s teeth. Multicoloured retro fantasy shawl- a bit Stevie Nicks. Sarah’s a chef and was in the Navy for 7 years. Says she’s very competitive and likes to win and she doesn’t want to be with someone who’s intimidated by what/who she is. She’s Clint Eastwood with tits,she is. Single for five years.

 Sarah’s main will be a grilled fillet steak and there’s pannacota with chilli on the the horizon. We see them both getting nerves as the Dinner Date approaches then the first ad break occurs.

 Nick brings Sarah a plant as a gift.( At this point he should say something like “this plant’s like me…it needs to be rooted”). Nick’s stoked that Sarah’s a chef. She’s happy that he’s a fireman and tells him that she’s just bought the pervy calendar.

 In a cardinal sin of interpersonal behaviour,Sarah forgets Nick’s name. It’s Karl Stefanovic,baby. They rip into the entree of tuna carpaccio and Nick regurgitates some Prestonisms to attest the quality of the baby coriander and the wasabi. He’s loving the food but not so comfortable about the prying into his love life. She’s very giggly as he is. He asks about her life and she likes “hanging out with friends dancing”.

 Nick and Sarah do seem to like each other. Nick follows her into the kitchen,throwing around compliments like confetti. Sarah says there’s some chemistry and she gives that a little helping hand by sexily leaning all over him like a seasoned up hyena to get at the pannacotta tray.

 Sarah’s friends would consider her “crazy,out there and exciting”,she says. Nick reckons his mates would say he was “genuine, enthusiastic and caring.”

Sweets are a big success and there’s a lot of laughing and byplay between the two. She’s a lot taller than him but.

 In a sensational Dinner Date first, Sarah rates Nick 10/10 while Nick reckons Sarah’s very special and has set a high benchmark for the other girls to reach.

 After an ad break,Manu returns ,garbling about Nick being a “Fairman” and cuisine superb but warning that Nick hasn’t met Charlotte yet.

 Second date Charlotte

 Charlotte is 25 yr old long haired brunette,she loves cooking and confesses to us she’s had her heart broken,wants to meet someone with similar values.

 Charlotte’s entree will be a double baked cheese souffle and she’s going the whole hog and baking the pastry from scratch.Worried that she forgot to grease the soufflle pan ,she recovers and is relieved that they’re managable.

 Nick’s getting anxious as the date approaches.When they meet ,they like each other but it’s all pretty uncomfortable. Nick’s worried that Charlotte’s not making eye contact and there’s an avalanche of uncomfortable conversation. Charlotte tells us that she’s freaking out about the food.

 No need to worry,Charlotte because the souffles turn out great and the atmosphere duly lightens. Still Charlotte tells Nick that she’s got band-aids on her heart. He ‘s happy that she’s finally making eye contact with him.

 The main is a duck salad with a vinaigrette dressing and the two swap some relationship history and Nick shows some sympathy for the ”douchebag” that has cheated Charlotte in a past romance. The duck is sensational he reckons.Charlotte concludes he’s a”good guy”.

 Charlotte’s dessert is some kind of tart I don’t catch the name of but it goes down a treat.Nick concludes that he’s had a wonderful night and ditto Charlotte who rates Nick an impressive 9/10.

Manu returns to praise Nick for two very successful dates.

Third date -Fleur

 Fleur’s 23 a music teacher and into extreme sports…we’ll soon find out that eating Fleur’s food is an extreme sport in itself.Suffice to say for this show,she’s very attractive and looks a little like Sigrid Thornton.

 She’s planned some traditional Dutch food fit for the kind of man she’s like. She’s been single 8 or 9 months and likes ambos ,fireys,police,you name it.Sounds like she’ll root anything in a uniform. She describes her food as ”hearty” and reckons she’s struck gold jagging a fireman.

 Now the entree is some kind of deep fried meatballs that have been soaked in a lot of vinegar.Sounds like “Battenballs” or something like it.

 Fleur asks what we’ve heard a few times on Dinner date now: ”If you’re so good looking,how come you’re single?”

Nick plays it back down the pitch with: ”I haven’t found the right person.’

 Fleur tells Nick she’s been hurt before but he’s now flat out trying not to spew the entree all over the kitchen table. He does a great job a of keeping the offensive ,vinegar soaked gruel down.

 This leads to a massively uncomfortable atmosphere in the room,which Fleur is lamely punctuating with bunny boiler giggling.

 Nick has to get through main course which is I think “Huttspot”( Dutch Rissoles In gravy). The plate is a huge serving and Nick emits a lot of nervous laughing before leaving most of it. He tells us out earshot that two are not connecting.

 However ,things lighten up with Fleur’s Dutch pancakes which have been an unlikely triumph. Nick loves them and the then Fleur treats him him to a private audition of the ubquitous Hallelujah from Leonard Cohen.

 Nick reckons the musical interlude it was sexy and left a lasting impression….. (Hallelujah that I’ll never eat a vinegar soaked meatball again) and lifted the night to a success. Fleur rates Nick 7/10.

 Manu chides Fleur for being a hard marker before letting his inner love rat out and expressing that he wished he was in Nick’s shoes and had to choose between “sree boodiful women”.

 Nick chose date no 2 , Charlotte to accompany him on a weekend on the NSW central coast. She’s not an outdoors type but gives it a go,impressing Nick. We seem cavorting in the waves and having a romantic walk on the beach before an enjoyable dinner.

 At the end Manu briefly winds it up ,before Nick says he’ll most likely see a friendship evolving,while Charlotte says she’ll wait and see what Nick decides.

Quite frankly I think the reason Dinner Date has gone prime time is because of Brain Dead Dave’s recaps, and again he has written another beauty.

Over to you Brain Dead Dave:

Flamin’ hell, I’m forced to endure five minutes or so of Home And Away before “New-Dinner Date Australia” goes prime time.

Manu introduces himself( Hi I’m Manu Feel-ill) recites the cooking your way into someone’s heart philosophy of the show.

Jeremy Paul is 33 and is described as a Wallaby superstar. 72 Tests before retiring in 2007. Now he runs a small string of cafes and restaurants with a business partner in Canberra. He tells us he’s been married before and has a couple of kids but has not been on a single date for three years.

Jeremy chooses three women to meet after perusing the five menus offered.

First Date

Katie is first up, a 32 yr old blonde says she likes confidence in a man but if he’s been married before with kids-no good.

She looks great and looks well prepared with an entree of prawns with garlic,lamb cutlets on a sweet potato mash for main and a strawberry mousse with winterberries for sweets.

As Jeremy prepares for his date we see him struggling to iron his shirt then announcing thet he’s more nervous than he would be in front of 80,00 people. When he arrives bottle of plonk in hand to Katie’s place he offers to help.

Katie thinks he’s very good looking seems impressed with his running restaurants. When Jeremy confesses that he’s been married before ,Katie tells him that she’s been married too in some kind of strange ceremony in Zambia to a bloke she never saw again.

Katie’s happy to continue ,she says, in spite of his marriage history.

Meantime jeremy’s loving the entree and praises the aoli(sic?).”Done to perfection.”

We hear some Barry White crooning in the background,suggesting that things are going very well.

As main course approaches ,we see Katie stressing out about the lamb cutlets being too rare. Jeremy attempts to reassure her that he “loves” lamb like  that but Kate’s smart enough to see him blushing over the dish.

Jeremy seems to have an inexhaustible suppy of adjectives to praise the cutlets. I don’t think she believed him.

The strawberry mousse is another winner and Jeremy proclaims it ”absolutely delicious”. However there is trouble in paradise.

At the conclusion of the meal, Katie wants to kick back and relax. She gets out her guitar and begins describing the evening in song.

Jeremy’s not amused, but describes Katie’s behaviour as “very brave’ but inappropriate on a first date. He subtly suggests she’s not very competent.

Fair go,she’s cooked for you, had a few drinks and the guitar was in tune, you dead$hit She should perhaps get blind and take a dump in a hotel foyer like a touring Wallaby.

Jeremy decides to leave quickly and Katie is offended by this. She scores him 6/10.

Manu is non plussed by the guitar antics, too and he poses “What was she thinking?’ as we go  to an ad break.

Second Date

Jeremy’s next date is Jessica a nice looking 30′sh brunette who’s been divorced for 14 months. She looks for humour and intellect in a guy…these aren’t Jeremy’s strong suits at all.

Jeremy’s at home watching the Wallabies on TV, worrying that if they lose he’ll be in a bad mood for the date.Meantime Jessica has prepared a rocket and red lentil soup for entree.Main is pan fried pork loin chops with sweet potato fries. Her dessert will be some lime tarts -she’s even done a test batch earlier in the arvo.

Jessica’s nervous .She’s never been on a blind date before -or a disastrous one either. Why risk all that and go on this show?

Jessica thinks that he’s good looking but really she’s not into sport but her interest is rekindled when Jeremy announces he runs 8 cafes and 2 restaurants.She’s into cultural experiences.

Jeremy notices that she’s really nervous and she’s concerned that he’s choking on a piece of chilli in the entree. Jeremy remains stoutly complimentary.

When they both reveal they’ve been married before, Jessica is a lot more relaxed and as the pork is served she asks Jeremy what he looks for in a woman. He gives quite a non descript answer. He seems about as deep as one of the teaspoons in his cafes. Might as well go out on the balcony and look at the fireworks on Sydney Harbour.

Jessica wants to show that she’s into culture and they’re off to historic Elizabeth house.Jessica’s “tipsy” she says and shows him around before leaving him at the fire while she goes to prepare sweets. Oops ,she’s packed the practice batch instead of the finely tweaked tarts but that’s no problem because Jeremy declares them beautiful and magnificent. She likes that he’s gone for seconds.

Jessica gives Jeremy 8/10 and wouldn’t mind seeing him again.

Manu’s back going off about the tarts…did he say “lamb” tarts or”lame” tarts?

Third Date

Louise is 30 yr old (bottle?)blonde in real estate .She’s been single for two years and suggests that her biological clock is telling her to find someone soon. She likes confidence in a man.

For an entree Louise has gone the salmon roulade.Main will be a roast beef wrapped in proscuitto. How Ma$tercheffy of you. Sweets will be a chocolate pudding with a spicy chilli syrup.

Jeremy says he has high expectations of the date based on Louise’s  menu. He seems really knocked out when they meet because he loves tall blondes and he says she’s so lovely.( the first two were better imo).

Louse’s first impressions are “Wow” even though she’s never heard of him. (Neither have I…he’s just a bloke with a thick neck on a dating show to me.) He says that’s okay. They both grew up in Brisbane and she loves kids ,so his previous marriage is no concern.

Jeremy rates the salmon roulade for the skills it took to make.The compliments flow on it’s divine appearance and fabulous taste. However, when Louise asks whether he’d move from Canberra to be in a relationship he doesn’t know where to look. That’s probably a”no “,Louise. Jeremy says it’s hard to say what he’s looking for.

Louse is flirting big time,telling him he’s so good looking she can’t concentrate on the food but he loves the beef and sweet potato mash,which he claims is cooked perfectly. The touching and flirting continues.

Louise seems a little shattered that Jeremy says the only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach as she seems keen to explore other ways.

As usual,Jeremy fairly gushes with compliments about the sweets. Louise is rating Jeremy an 8 or 9 and would love to see him again. Jeremy really “liked her getting him involved’ and the flirting and pawing.

Manu returns ,telling us that Jeremy has a “toff” decion to make. Not really, Jeremy plonks for the bottle blonde Louse that looks like she’ll put out.

Jeremy takes flowers and a card to the two women he didn’t go for.(Idiot)

Jeremy rocks up at Louise’s and tells her about her good looks helping her get the chocolates and they’re off for a potentially dirty weekend at Palm Beach.

Louise is coy and says she won’t kiss and tell about Palm island.

Manu returns to gladly inform us that yes,this time a couple are keen to catch up again.he signs off with:

“When zere is luff ,zere are no boundaries”

I’m finding it hard to believe that this show is prime time.

Thank you all for the comments last week.

Again Brain Dead Dave has done a hilarious recap of Dinner Date – however his recap has got me curious to know what happened on his dates where he got blind???

The recap below:

Dinner Date begins late again with some Manu-script about the way to man’s heart being through his stomach. Off his face, three sheets to the wind,hypnotised and loaded up on Cointreau – is how readers variously described Manu’s performance last week. We need subtitles for the seemingly poleaxed Pepe le Peu’s narratives Janine is a 28 yr old brunette. Dance Teacher and disco queen by night, radiographer by day. She’s been single for eight months and says her love life has been “crazy” and “out there”.

Seafood is a favourite of Janine’s and she plonks for the menus of Justin,Rhys and Adam from the five possible suitors- inoffensive looking guys in the mid 20′s 30 range.

Justin is an adventurer /outdoors type. He does some smoke blowing about kayaking across the ditch to NZ with a mate,unsupported. Oh whatever,mate,it takes a lot more tenacity and passion to watch a season of Ma$terchef.

Justin’s got a slow roasted lamb dish with tomatoes for a main and raspberry chocolate cheesecake planned. He starts panicking about the graininess of the home made ice cream and we see him sculling a drink as

Janine’s arrival nears. As she arrives Janine admits to being apprehensive about “blind dates”. I’ve never been one one myself…plenty of dates where I got blind, but.

Janine’s is underwhelmed with Justin’s walking around in his socks. He’s pretty naïve to think that won’t matter. Women get fussy about thongs and stuff like that.

Justin tells her he’s “professional” adventurer and reruns the kayaking to NZ yarn,making me wonder exactly what goes across the ditch with them on these “adventures”.

Janine then stalks Justin into the kitchen commencing an interrogation into his love history. Bad move because the prawns are burning and the asparagus is overcooked. Janine’s hanging in the kitchen ,laughing.

Nevertheless Janine says the entree is “yummy” and they get to talking about books they’ve read. She’s impressed that Justin has read the twilight series.

The main is slow roasted lamb with blistered tomatoes on a green pea mash. Janine loves it and reckons Justin can cook,has muscles happening and handsome.

Sweets are chocolate brownies and raspberries. Justin’s faltering and freaking out about the home made ice cream but Janine’s impressed ,telling him that he’s outdone himself. She gets some leftover brownie and a mint plant and kisses him goodnight.

Justin scores her an impressive 8 out of 10 and as we go to an ad break Manu returns to champion Justin’s effort as “magnifique”

Second date Rhys Janine’s next dinner date is Rhys, a 30 yr old online sales guy. He’s been single for two years and with that Justin Bieber haircut he’s packing ,it’s no wonder..He loves the ocean,Japan and seafood and has duly “‘prepared” sushi Atlantic salmon,tempura prawns and a chocolate self saucing pudding, among other things for her dining delight.

Rhys gets off on the Japanese theme even more by tarting up in a kimono before Janine arrives .We hear the tune Turning Japanese,then Rhys opens the door and insists that Janine don a kimono as well.She’s happy to play along and Rhys reckons she’s very good looking. She isn’t too bad at all.

They ‘re enjoying the sushi and Janine starts her interrogation about why Rhys is unbelievably single etc. She doesn’t like the beard he’s sporting either.

Rhys reveals that he’s never done tempura before and it’s taking ages to do. Janine let’s him know about it with “I’m dying for it”,ruining Justin’s concentration even more.

Janine loves the main ,telling Justin he’s “superseded her expectations” before she notices a burning smell coming from the kitchen. It’s a pot of hot ,smoking oil still on the burner. Rhys takes it off and completely at his wit’s end he puts it on the floor,burning a crop circle like design into the carpet.

Manu takes us to an ad break,noting Rhys’ embarrassment.

Janine has to help with actually baking the dessert . The oven hasn’t been preheated and we hear JJCale’s After Midnight to remind us that the date is dragging on badly here. Justin spills chocolate over the kitchen floor and finally at 1.20 am the cake /pudding comes out of the oven.

Janine goes home at 1.30having still enjoyed herself,describing Rhys as funny and witty. He scores her 9/10,praing her for putting up with his stuff. Manu calls Justin’s effort “impressive” and praises him for surviving and turning the situation to his advantage.

Third date. Adam

Adam is 30 and runs a wedding car hire service. He loves his Lebanese family and lives at home in their palace. He’s built like Rocky Balboa.We see him preparing sweets, pouring some Midori over mangoes. I get a phone call here and miss several minutes.

Adam’s invite a heap of family and friends to the dinner date there’s Lebanese finger food on offer., which he’s got his Mum to prepare.

Adam’s nervousness is a major factor in proceedings.

First ,Janine tells him she’s a radiographer -he thinks that’s a DJ.

At main time,Adam can’t turn the oven on properly to cook some seafood he’s managed to put in a frypan. I thought maybe he doesn’t know how to turn it on. He lets his failure with the oven get to him and he becomes even more nervous and can’t hold any conversation at all at the table. The mango comes and goes amid the awkward atmosphere.

Janine still liked the seafood though she notes “it’s a little bit raw with the oven”.She’s a trouper and tells us she enjoyed herself but really needs ’funny” guys. Poor Adam was giggling at nothing through sheer terror.

Adam scores Janine 9/10. She’s been a good date on the three occasions, in my opinion,apart from the interrogations in the kitchen.

It’s time for Janine to choose and I really thought she’d go for the first guy Justin.

But Janine chooses Rhys, the bearded guy who I thought might have been tipsy and burned a lot of the food.

They get a weekend at Palazzo Versace on the Gold Coast. Nice place. Their dinner is interesting as Rhys has shaved his beard off with high hopes and Janine has got another Maria Venuti top out to distract him with. Rhys says he could get serious about Janine and they’ve plans to catch up..  Manu winds up with details that the two are stiiill talking about another date…but that if you’re planning to visit Rhys…”Ring ze fire Brigade”

Thanks for the comments last week. I love the pieces of music played. the producers have got a sarcastic sence of humour with their song placement.

The show moves at a fast enough pace,I don’t really get time to note what the contestants are wearing(or not wearing).

By popular demand Brain Dead Dave is back with the latest recap of Dinner Date and the show and the recap is hilarious:

Two weeks since Dinner Dolt has gone around and I’m salivating,wondering if it’s as bad as I remember. It doesn’t help that the show starts five minutes late but wait here’s Manu garbling that the quest of Dinner Dolt is to :

“See if it’s pussy bowl to kook your way into someone’s art “ (See if it’s possible to cook your way into someone’s heart.)

The rules are so simple a gorilla could understand- which is presumably how tonight’s male contestant “Hedge Hay”,Manu informs us(AJ) found his way onto the show. Hedge Hay is about thirty, “in transport” (trucky) loves beer and footy..Has a heart of gold,apparently.Wants a filly to go under his arm to complement the racehorse interest he has. Hedge Hay reckons a “chicky babe” would top it all nicely and of course,he wants kids.His creative outlet is being a DJ /shock jock on community radio.

He chooses three out of five available menus and prepares to meet the women that have stumped them up. He’s probably gutted that pie and chips isn’t there but as we”ll find out Hedge Hay isn’t exactly forthcoming with his true feelings.

Nicki is the first of Hedge Hay’s dates. She’s blagged one of Maria Venuti’s animal print tops to showcase her ample cleavage.Big hair,.lipstick and mega white teeth. She likes Hedge Hay’s eyes but laments that he’s a shortass, adding that burping on a first date would be a big turnoff.

Nicki’s a professional entertainer ,a dancer. This is where Hedge Hay blows it and enquires if that extends to “pole dancing”. Oh,no…alll that effort on the candles and pillows gone to hell. She used to be a cheerleader for the Roosters,too.It can only get better.

Hedge Hay than drops real clanger about women (I think) that ends with the word”ar$ehole”. It’s not received terribly well.

She brings out some heart shaped food on a bed of cous cous. Hedge Hay was suspicious but concludes that he likes it. He lies about the strawbwerries that have been soaking in vinegar for ages and compliments her.

For the kicker, Nicki’s going to give Hedge Hay a sample belly dance when really, he should have been wearing a drink or two by now. But no,Hedge Hay perves his brains out and let’s out with an oafish “Do you have to?’ when Nikki’ informs him that she’s off to get her clothes back on.

Even though Nicki admits to being an are$ehole magnet in the past, she’s had enough and wind things up as quickly as possible. She scores hedge Hay 5 out of 10.

Manu comes back after an ad break. He’s looking more comfortable this week and has a wry smile on his face. He tells us ” Hedge Hay is a rooved almond” (Trans- AJ is a rough diamond) in a masterful piece of sugar coating.

Second date _Michelle

Not to be denied, Hedge Hay heads off in his car to the tune of Rose Tattoo’s Bad Boy For Love. We see him getting out,twirling a bottle of booze gunslinger style to meet Michelle,the country girl who’s gone to a lot of trouble getting produce from the family farm to make a lamb roast for Hedge Hay.

Michelle’s a fetching brunette. She’s been single for three years and this is her first blind date. Doh. The dinner looks great-lamb roast and an apple and raspberry pie. She’s into beer and footy and Hedge Hay goes for that. He tells us that he’s been caught perving at Michelle a couple of times and that she’s got a great arse but he’s still pretty hopeful.

Hedge Hay offers to help in the kitchen,knowing that he’ll be knocked back. He makes an appalling aside about stoking the mantelpiece. Woops,maybe Michelle didn’t get that one. We hear Bill Idol’s Hot In The City .

There’s some small talk at dinner but Hedge Hay is so busy eating he’s unaware of his sickening display of finger licking,knife licking and wiping plates with fingers.God bless the producers for recapping the footage for our benefit. It seems like Michelle is a great gal on a losing streak.Unbelievably ,she scores Hedge hay 7 out of 10 and even even contemplated seeing him again. Hedge Hay drags his arse out into the night,probably over the limit.

There’s an ad break and we see Manu some more …but not too much. He makes sure he mentions the elephant in the room – Hedge Hay’s appalling eating etiquette.

Third Date- Erin

Erin is a thirty something florist. She like footy and sitting on the lounge. Hedge Hay thinks that because she’s stumping up prawns,.proscuitto wrapped roo and a lamington cake, it’s going to be a big Aussie night and he’s moronically chanting Oi Oi Oi on the way.

However, things in Erin’s kitchen aren’t exactly going swimmingly. The food’s not ready. She’s forgotten to turn the oven on. When she has both the roo and lamington cake are in the oven at the same time. Even I know that’s a bad marriage of alaments.

Erin goes for Hedge Hay’s spiky Advanced Hair style. Erin reveals that she normally goes for bad guys and she hope this time is diifferent. Sorry,chicky babe. While Erin ‘s in the kitchen ,Hedge Hay starts rooting through her fridge,looking for beer.

What an ingrate for not bringing his own beer. I’m speechless. Hedge Hay continues to drop hints about beer until he gets one. He complains about starving as well. He makes some uncultured remarks about oyster and then lies about the kangaroo saying it was ”different’,when he hated it. The lamington cake was a flop as poor Erin forgot the coconut icing. .

Hedge Hay’s other faux pas is to call Erin -Michelle and is in major damage contol when he lies to Erin about the food-”it’s absolutely beautiful -just like you.”

Amazingly,Erin scores Hedge Hay 7/10 “with potential’ and now it’s decision time for Hedge Hay. He goes for the slimmest blonde Erin who cooked the worst food.

We see Erin and Hedge Hay sitting forlonly at a deserted resort somewhere in the Daintree

Doesn’t look like they got it on but who knows?.

At the death ,Manu returns to dourly inform us that Hedge Hay and Erin have not seen each other since. Hedge Hay’s still searching for the Tigers/Rooster supporter of his dreams.

Thanks for the feedback last week ,fellow bloggers. Feel free to cover things I’ve missed.

I have to be honest I have not seen the full episode as I fell asleep at the start of it.  I did notice there was a lot of twitter chat around it. Not a lot of it was positive, but then Twitter can be a bit snarky. But the plus side for Channel Seven at least people were talking about it.

Thankfully regular commenter Brain Dave Dead did see the whole thing through and here is his recap:

9.30 on Tuesday night is the time for Dinner Date, hosted by Manu. You’ve just watched Ma$terchef and The Renovators, so why not a bland,blind dating show around being a host and cooking a la maison, as Manu wouldsay, for a member of the opposite sex?

It starts with Manu explaining ze rules at ze beginning ,then the show is pretty much a bludge for him after that. Subtitles for Manu’s segments would be a plus as I struggle with his accent. The dancing chef is having a crack at playing Cupid now. Zut Alors!

The chick was a uber gorgeous Asian and she met three male suitors for dinner at their places . Unfortunately, I don’t remember the names of the contestants, or what they cooked. I don’t have IQ,so feel free to fill in any tidbits.

Uncomfortable moments,stilted conversation and train wrecks are a feature of the dinner scenes.Just how I like it.

One of the guys reacted like they’d found a turd in his bathtub when the found out the woman was a single mother. The second guy was a single Dad,he crapped out.The third guy didn’t mind so much so he won and went for a massive tonguey on the second date. His mantra was “I’m not chauvinistic,it’s just tradition” He took half the poor girl’s face off.

You’ll hear snatches of romantic hits of the past on this show and I think the producers have been canny not to have Manu overkill…it’s mostly about the dinner dolts.

Needless to say,he won…