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Posts from — June 2015

Guest Post: House Rules – Hervey Bay Holiday House revealed

In the mess that is currently my inbox I found this recap from Gidgit (sorry Gidgit) another House Rule Recap and a house reveal.

Over to Gidgit:

It’s finally time to see the house we all feel we’ve already seen the end product of – or is that just me? Teams must scurry to finish off their areas and we get lots more recap for those that have not been watching or have dementia.  I have winementia so kind of grateful for it personally.  It’s damn hot in Hervey Bay… and I hear it’s cold in the Arctic! Duh! It’s bloody Queensland – sweating one day – sweating more the next.

Anyone else watch that bitch Belle interview on 60 minutes tonight? Oh sorry – wrong show. Ok on with holiday house I’m winning reveal. They better not have fucked it up. Cassie the sook is making more dramas than needed as usual. Bloody drama queen. Tiana and Steve’s kid castle thing is appalling (I don’t have kids – can you tell) and that would become a shed or place to lock up nosey neighbours. Welcome to Game of Stay off my Land bitches.  Ryan is a really good tiler because he is a tiler – that helps.  Cassie is still carrying on like a pork chop over the shelves when she only ends up putting little plates and few glasses on them – POINTLESS! Of course when she doesn’t get her way, things are wrong, stuff isn’t delivered or just…life – she breaks down and cries like a baby! More predictable than not winning Lotto!

Bronik has heat stroke and exhausted and we know that is not good (Walking the Nile people – dead guy!) Tiana wants her ex prisoner tiler to do her laundry tiles and not sure who is scarier? (waver – I do not know that her tiler has ever served prison time and if he ‘s reading this – I live in W.A) Ryan is painting the front doors bright yellow – against a light grey and crisp white painted home….eh. Not a fan.  Ben and Danielle have not agreed on one thing together all week and it’s not about to change now. Danielle is planning out an English cottage garden and Ben basically says ‘that sucks honey’ without saying that because he’s scared of her and knows she’s out of his league. Know what you’ve got folks!

HOT project manager (yayyyyy) shows up – in my bed (yeah I wish) and tells Ben he’s stuffed up the arbor and needs to change it as it’s now on council land. Who cares? You are in the middle of bloody nowhere! There are vacant lots out the wazoo around there and not like there is a proper street with street lights – so stuff the council.  Pretty sure that silly kids castle is a safety hazard. Looks like it’s been built from seaweed and snot! (Top Secret movie reference there – if you got that – I love you – seriously)

WHALES! Oh that’s right it’s Hervey Bay. Don’t show the actual beach up close – it sucks ass and you have to wade out through the coral reef & rocks to reach decent water – but anyhoo! Tiana and Steve had a HUGE king size four poster bed and it’s awesome. Back to sooky and Matt and sooky’s way of getting anything is to cry, have a tantrum and stamp her feet. Very mature dear. Don’t have kids – seriously. They’ll be more mature than you at age 3!  Joh Griggsy rocks up not sweating saying one hour left and awkwardly comforts Cassie because even she REALLY thinks Cassie is a god damn sook.

Bronik is down for the count so Corrine steps up to bring the furniture in and is small but powerful. I really can’t see how it’s all going to come together. Oh so now Bronik is refreshed and time for Corrine to break down. Marlee steps in and redeems herself from being a bit of a bitch this week. Good on you girlfriend. Ten seconds left and Ryan has a great tan, Joh Griggs looks spotless, Corrine is still crying and time for sweaty group hug. Tiana gives a ‘this has been great love you all’ type speech & really should have come from Ryan or Bronik.  Time for judging and letting the local’s in to have a snoop! When I win this house they won’t be getting past the front gate so enjoy it while you can yocals.

It’s judges Wendy & Joe time and both looking very stylish in bright red with high heels and lipstick – and Wendy looks pretty good too.  They are just a package of ‘wow’s’ ordered off Ebay and so am I to tell the truth.  Goes to show what a SHIT LOAD of money can do to an old moved house – sadly I don’t have a shit load of money so my place looks how it looks. Certainly not like this god damn it. First areas for judging is Ben and Danielle & the guest room is adorable but that wallpaper sucks in that type of home but the mirror is gorgeous. Hell if I’m going to review everything this will take for ages. They love the bathroom & back deck (the back deck is bloody awesome) And can I say fair credit to House Rules people for much shorter ad breaks! Yes I noticed & I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Ryan & Marlee’s areas now and some awesome tiling done by Ryan – and I loved the paving/tiling colours! They would suit our place like a treat – hint hint! The shed is adorable (for locking up the kids I guess) That carport is great & perfect and how come Marlee & Ryan didn’t get…never mind. I’ll get to that later on. I DID notice no outside lighting – no garden lighting or lights in the carport. People do go out at night and get home at night…although it is Hervey Bay so where the hell are you going? (kidding Hervey Bay – lovely place – I’ll be living there soon!) Hallway is gorgeous aside from tacky shit side table thing which should be in a contiki tour motel reception.  That’s where you lost your points Marlee & Ryan – that sidetable and that light above the dining table! Picky picky!

It gets weird when Wendy says she doesn’t like the pendant light and Joe goes off on some ‘yes they have really picked their game up haven’t they’. It didn’t blend with what was being said.  Steve & Tiana next & I agree with judges – if you got a retro wardrobe – why not get the same with the draws and bedside tables? Oh shit it’s the kids castle. The judges love it – no accounting for taste. Looks like some lame shit thing at Leyland Brothers World! (how’s that for retro!) I love a four poster bed – but for other reasons! Oooh matron!

Covered verandah time (in other words place to dry out bathers, put boogie boards/surf boards and dump sandy shoes) but hey there is the laundry so…there’s that.  Bronik & Corrine’s areas with living room, outdoor shower, shower room yadda yadda.  Bronik nailed the outdoor area with the fence & outdoor shower. Boy helps being a bloke on this show & having trade skills – yep sure does.  Love how the judges keep acting like they are surprised by areas – bless.  Oh and has no one told these folks wallpaper is a bitch in areas that get wet & hot from a shower or laundry. Trust me – peeling! Should just be tiles and paint.  Living room & they love it – great TV – pity there is no reception there – but hey it’s a big black box!

Cassie & Matt now and Cassie at one point stopped crying like a toddler to do stuff but still didn’t get everything done. Mention Panadol Matt – MENTION PANADOL!  Judges find faults in Cassie & Matt’s areas and they are goners! It’s a given. I like their kids rooms but the judges need to send someone home so…oh god – light switches! It’s a kids room – not a penthouse in New York!  I do agree the wallpaper in the kitchen is not suitable. Ok this is long – bless you for sticking with it! I’ll finish soon promise! Time to let the locals in to nick stuff! Bring it on! “Ooooowe geez it’s noice” is the general reaction.

Back to home base with Joh in AQUA…and time for nosey neighbours to come check the place out. They all love it, no negative reviews so that must be true huh?  Watching it second time it’s like Cassie & Matt already know they are goners! The rest of the teams are thrilled and excited – Cassie & Matt are like ‘yep, fine…whatever…we are goners’. Maybe the show tells them before final judging so there is no attacking Joh or punching the other teams??  Back at home base and lots of tens handed out – Danielle & Ben, Corrine & Matt all get tens. Ryan & Marlee get a nine & eight.  To be fair Wendy THEY didn’t just achieve it all – there was loads of tradies and others painted the outside of the house – but yes still hard work. Not forgetting the plumber and building supervisor – hello boys! Call me!

Oye – who built the picket fence?  Be nice to see everything being done even if it’s not the teams! Just saying.  Nearly finished – promise. Tiana & Steve time & I agree with Wendy – more vintage pieces. Those fantastic furniture draws and bedside tables don’t cut it. They still get nine from each judge. Bye bye Cassie & Matt. Joh tells Marlee & Ryan they could be going home but they don’t look worried one bit! Rightfully so – Matt and Cassie are sent packing and what – Cassie cries? No way – impossible! My recording ran out again even though I prolonged recording time but see ya – wouldn’t want to be ya! Well actually they got the entire inside of their house renovated so I take that back!

See you tonight for …for… outsides I’m guessing? Who knows. Cio bellas.

Gidget x

June 30, 2015   37 Comments

Guest Post: Masterchef Australia – A Survivoresque Type Mystery Box

Rosie has been a champion on these recaps and a big thank you. I just want to apologise for being missing in action but am have hit a brick wall with reality TV and online and am desperately trying to get my mojo back. Hopefully it will be soon. A big thanks to people who have contacted me and sent in recaps. Hopefully I will spark up soon. I really appreciate all that you guys are doing to keep the blog going in my mental absence.

It’s time for the mystery Mystery Box! Gosh, I’m excited! Aren’t you excited, boys and girls? Now why on earth not. Could it be that you are just spoilt by all the wondrous cooking talent you have seen displayed here lately? Okay, I do see your point. The ones who are good tend to be ignored, the ones who are decent are also ignored or sent home and the ones who are rubbish tend to be dragged along. Never mind, let’s see what happens tonight, shall we?

First of all, they lift the lid to the wooden box to show the mystery angle of tonight’s proceedings. Gasps can be heard emanating from many lips because the mystery remains.. The ingredients under the wooden box are mysterious to all of our contestants. The judges tell them (and us) that they are: pheasant, black ants, sorghum, achacha (a Bolivian fruit), stringy Armenian cheese (which is very salty), dried and powdered green mango, New Zealand yam (a tuber), little Mexican cucumbers and a flour made from the outsides of the coffee berry. As usual they must use at least one of the mystery box ingredients and they have the usual pantry stuff under their benches.

And in case anybody cares, Matt Preston is wearing brown checked jamie pants. Not too lairy, but still wrong.

 Of course only the top three dishes will be tasted.

 The usual cookity, cookity carrying on happens with lots of, “I’ve never heard of these ingredients before!” type comments. I kinda tune out a little.

 The first of the three lucky people to be tasted is Billie. She has made an ant caramel parfait with caramelized and pickled yams, buttered popped sorghum and an ant coffee tuille. The judges love it despite the strange sounding ingredients.

Next is Jessie. Her dish is a puffed sorghum in a parfait with ant praline and sour caramel with green mango. The judges also find this gorgeous.

Someone called Nose (I think?) is last. She has cooked a coffee flour tart with achacha curd and ant praline, which she had planned to top with a meringue but it was too sweet, so she settled on good old whipped cream. Oddly, the judges don’t question her on her change in plan.

 Nose is the winner. She is so excited when told she has won she seems to resemble a penguin as she does a wee dance. How very odd.

 She heads into the pantry with the judges. They tell her she has the power of three, and that she gets to choose three things: what to cook with, the style of cooking and the length of time they can cook.  First choice is between meat, poultry and eggs, or dairy.. If she chooses meat, poultry and eggs that means the dairy is removed from the pantry, and vice versa. Second choice is between European or Asian. Once again if she chooses European there will be no Asian ingredients available and vice versa. The third choice is much more straightforward: it is time. She must choose between 30 or 45 minutes.

 The judges and Nose go back to the kitchen, where she tells the others she chose Asian for the cuisine, meat, poultry and eggs for the ingredients and that they have 45 minutes in which to cook.

 Reynold is cooking beef rendang that his father cooks all the time. His father makes it over 3 or 4 hours, but he hopes to manage it in the pressure cooker. Ulp.

 Matt plans to cook a beef dumpling in a broth that needs 30 minutes in a pressure cooker. But of course the beef needs much, much longer to be sufficiently tender. What are you doing, Matt? (And Reynold?)

 Georgia is cooking chicken and sweetcorn. She will add a raw egg at the end.

Jessie is planning to make duck breast braised in caramel with light fresh citrus flavours.

 Jessica is disappointed she was not tasted in the earlier challenge. She is making a Japanese beef dish. The judges don’t look impressed but she says flavours are not her weak point. Onya, matey.

Nose is making Scotch eggs with some kind of dipping sauce and she seems flustered and to be running a bit behind.

 Sara is doing something with chicken. Don’t much care what. Oowaa! Bad attitude for a recapper there, Rosie. I’d smack my fingers with the tablet but I don’t want to damage the tablet. 😉

Matthew has just realised, with 5 minutes to go, that he has run out of time for his beef dumpling so will serve up a beef broth with some beef in it. He knows it’s not really a top ten dish, and probably not even a top 24 dish. Uh oh.

Reynold realises with 3 minutes to go that his beef is not cooked properly. Poor love is flustered.

Nose is also flustered.

Time is up.

Jessie is first. She gives them pan seared duck with a sour and bitter caramel sauce, pickled daikon and a herb salad. Gary say it’s a great dish, and Matt agrees, saying it’s great cooking.

Next is Nose. She has made Thai style Scotch egg (um, if they are Scotch eggs, how can they also be Thai?) with mushrooms and a dipping sauce. They congratulate her on keeping the egg yolks runny. Matt says she has beautiful subtle flavour in her chicken mince, but the same flavour is there in the sauce, so the subtlety is lost.

 Next up is Ashleigh, whose dish is a glazed quail leg with miso and broccoli purée and broccolini. Gary loves it.

Billie has made beef pataki(?) style with Thai salad, poached egg and chilli mandarin ginger dressing. Matt admires it profusely.

Amy gives the judges a poached chicken breast with Vietnamese herb salad and a something (chan?) dressing. Gary says nice things about it. Middle again, I’d guess.

Georgia is next. She has made chicken and sweetcorn soup. She adds the raw egg in front of them. It doesn’t do anything – doesn’t set or cook, because the broth is clearly not hot enough. They taste it anyway. Raw egg, yum! She just looks sad.

The next contestant is Jessica. Her black sesame tare glazed sirloin with spicy nori salt and wasabi and spring onion relish. She explains that tare is a reduced soy, mirin, black sesame and rice wine vinegar. The judges are very happy indeed.

Next up is Reynold. He is preparing himself for the bad feedback. It is beef rendang. They point out it is dry and undercooked.

Sara is next. She has cooked a poached chicken with black sesame paste and spring onion oil. They basically tell her she is top 3.

Matthew gives them beef in a beef broth. They know that this was not his original dish, and George says there is no way he or Gary could have pulled off a beef dumpling in 45 minutes. Matthew admits he is embarrassed.

The 3 best dishes belong to Sara (quelle surprise!), Jessie and Jessica. Yes! So I wonder will one of these three win an ammunity pin? As long as it’s not Sahra, I won’t mind too much, but god I wish they’d bin the thing!

The 3 worst players today are Reynold, Matthew and Nose.

Editorial comment: Please, please, oh heavenly Flying Spaghetti Monster, take Nose home! Not home to fly about the heavens with you, just home to Adelaide. Please!


June 30, 2015   23 Comments

Guest Post: Masterchef Australia – Another Elimination Or Was It?

A big thank you to Rosie for keeping the Masterchef recaps ticking over. Now over to Rosie to talk about the elimination episode:

It’s Alimination time again! But the first big question is…what will Matt Preston be wearing tonight? He is wearing… normal looking clothes. Thank you, O Flying Spaghetti Monster!

 On to the meat of the night… Tonight’s potential aliminees are Matthew – please, God, no, Billie – ditto please, God, Sara – I don’t give a fuck God, Jessie – that’s another no, please God and some woman called Rose. Funny, you’d think by now I’d know all their names, but I don’t remember seeing her around before. *ahem* But the good news is that Billie has a Majickal Ammunity Pin, so let’s hope she is clever enough to use it. And Billie will use her pin. Smart girl.

 The remaining four aliminees must make a pie – the sort of pie in which the filling is enclosed by pastry, top and bottom. They have 90 minutes and an open pantry.

 They get cooking. Cook, cook, cook, with the usual bla, bla commentary from the unlucky four along the way. Matthew seems to be doing well. Did Jessie just say she’d never made pastry before? No, she just admits it’s a weakness of hers. And of course this is the worst pastry Sahra has ever made. We don’t hear a lot from the other lady – Rose, is it? No wonder I don’t know who she is. *cough, hack, hack* Oh dear, I seem to have something caught in my throat. Now, where was I?

 Time for judging.

 Matthew’s pie is beef and red wine with bacon and mushrooms. The judges make ooey gooey sounds and absolutely love it. George reckons it’s the best pie he’s eaten on the show in 7 years.

 The lady called Rose is next. Her pie is a spiced beef and lentil pie with a yoghurt sauce. They say it looks good but the beef needs to be cooked a bit more.

 Jessie is worried her pastry will be raw. It’s a beef, bacon and red wine pie. And she is right. Her pastry is raw.

 Sara has made a Chinese chicken and sweet corn pie with a cucumber salad. Her pastry is way too crumbly and they also criticize the salad.

 Jessie’s dish is worst of the day. Wah!

 But! Matt tells her on any other day she’d be going home, but today she gets a second chance. She gets to fight for her place against… them! And we see all of the previously ejected contestants who have returned thinking they’ll only have to fight it out amongst each other for a place back in the competition. Well not all – 9 of them. Lucky them, or should I say, lucky us. No, I did NOT roll my eyes then. I didn’t! Well maybe just a tiny roll. Of the returnees, only one will get the chance to compete against Jessie for a spot back in the house. And of course Stephen gives us the first commentary.

 Will we see all of their dishes? My hunch says no, but I remain hopeful.

 They’re focussing on Kristina a bit. Although I hope Jessie comes back, I won’t mind seeing Kristina back either. Then again, we are seeing a lot of Stephen too, but then, we always did… Lobster tail? He started with a bloody great salmon. Oh well, may as well continue his routine of wasting expensive seafood for which he doesn’t have to pay.

 Melita is up first with her strawberry mousse cake with hazelnut meringue and rhubarb.

 Fiona has made something called cranachan. The judges have never heard of it and neither have I, despite my Scottish heritage. (Actually once I looked it up, I remember watching Nick Nairn producing it once: ) Sounds bloody wonderful.

 John’s dish is pork kilawin with seared scallops and pomegranate jus.

 Jacqui has made a chocolate mousse cake with raspberry sorbet and praline crumb.

Ava has cooked an eye fillet with salsa verde.

Anna gives the judges a pot of bouillabaisse with boiled potates and a rouille. When they comment disparagingly about the spuds she removes them, but Gary says, only half jokingly, that it is too late.

Kha has cooked quail with Vietnamese salad.

All of the above have been given pretty much uniformly good reviews of their dishes, so we know it will be down to Kristina and Stephen.

Kristina is next, with her poached snapper fillet with prawn mousse ravioli and prawn bisque. Matt says it is absolutely delicious and George tells her she is in the mix to re-enter the competition, even though he appears to take half an hour to saw through her raviolo. Must have been using a butter knife, yes, that’s it.

 Stephen has cooked lobster tail with mussels, roast fennel, confit fennel and a lobster sauce. He has done really well and they praise him to the skies.

Sadly, my hunch is correct and they only show 9 of the returnees’ dishes, which is better than only the top three I guess. But why not give us at least a glimpse at the others, Shine? Disappointing for us, but must have been devastating for the poor buggers whose dishes were not shown.

The top three are Stephen, Kha and Kristina. But the best dish was cooked by Stephen.

Okay now, go Jessie! Not that I’m being partial. Oh what the heck, this is my recap, so I can be as partial as I like. Heh. I don’t hate Stephen, I don’t even dislike him. I just think Jessie is by far the better cook, so I hope she beats him.

They have 60 minutes to cook one delicious dish.

Stephen is pushing the envelope by making a parfait. He doesn’t normally make desserts so wants to show the joodges he has evolved..

Jessie is making something savoury with lobster. She is feeling very stressed.

 The judges opt to taste Stephen’s dish first. It is a lemon verbena parfait, rhubarb carpaccio and honeycomb nut crumb. He admits he missed a couple of elements. They are not superstruck with his dish, feeling it lacks acidity.

Jessie has cooked a butter poached lobster with pickled and fresh fennel with carrots and dill mayonnaise. They ask her about her tears at the end, thus bringing on more tears. Of course. She explains that she just loves the cooking etc and no matter what happens she wants to stay with the food. They absolutely adore her dish.

Yep, Jessie is back. Yay! Goodonya, matey!

The judges give Stephen’s ego a little pat by telling him they are proud of him, then quickly tell the others they are proud of them too.

 And next Sunday’s mystery box will be a mystery Mystery Box! Stay tuned…

June 27, 2015   350 Comments

Guest Post: Masterchef Australia – Another Immunity Pin Win

Rosie is keeping these recaps going sorry I miss them in the flood of emails hitting my inbox. A big big thank you. Now over to Rosie:

And here we are, back once more in the Masterchef Kitchen. Or kitchin, as Gary Mehigan likes to call it. Oops, I’d better be careful and not be too “Britishist” or “Englishist”. Yes, I’m aware that there are no such words, thank you.

We start with our sad, black clad three – ha, had you fooled for a quarter of a second. Okay, I fooled nobody, you were simply wondering why I have not yet been booked into my nearest funny farm. No, I am doing anything to put off mentioning that tonight is Ammunity Night for Ashleigh, Matthew (and possibly his daughter, Emily. Thought I may as well get the mention out of the way early then I promise not to say her name again. Ever.) and… oh you all know who the third person is. Because the producers hate us, it’s frigging Rose.

The first round is a good old fashioned baking challenge, Matt P tells them. They must make a sticky date pudding, using only the ingredients and equipment that would have been found in grandma’s kitchen. Or if you’re as old as I am, your mum’s kitchen. Well, when I was little. 😉

 Rose wants to put a middle Eastern spin onto hers.

Ashleigh is used to cooking with her nanna, and uses ginger because that’s what Nanna uses.

Matt will use walnuts with his.

Stringy Hair… er, I mean, Shannon, is chatting with the judges. Isn’t he supposed to be mentoring the contestants?

Tellingly, Matthew says he wants to beat Ashleigh because she’s good at desserts, and someone mentions Rose. “Oh, and Rose too,” he says, with a slightly embarrassed chuckle. My guffaw isn’t the least bit embarrassed. He has stuffed his caramel sauce. It’s way overcooked. He tries again. And again, before having a modicum of success.

They’re all having difficulty with their caramel because grandma’s saucepans were thin and difficult to use for sauces.

Silly Ashleigh takes her puds out of the pans hot so big chunks of ’em get left behind. Oh dear.

Rose’s look much better, even though she thinks they don’t look good. She says they feel heavy and plans to add a lemon cream sauce to lighten them a little.

Ashleigh puts loads of sauce on hers and hopes the judges will like that and maybe disguise the missing chunks.

Matthew is worried he might have put too much bicarb soda in his.

They taste Rose’s first. Gary says it’s heavy and dense. But they love the lemon cream.

Matthew is next. Gary mentions the aftertaste of bicarb, but says that otherwise it was great.

Now it’s Ashleigh’s turn, and they tell her they were watching her turn them out hot and wonder why she did that. But they love it, and declare her 100% winner of Round 1. Whew, I can put away my carving knife. [For those who don’t know, I had promised to commit hara kiri should Rose have won ammunity tonight. Life, wonderful life, I embrace you!]

Jim McDougall is tonight’s guest chef, making Ashleigh pretty nervous. Ashleigh gets 75 minutes to cook and Jim gets 60. The choices are between north (of Australia) and south. Ashleigh gets to choose of course, and she chooses north. There is also an under bench pantry.

Ashleigh is making a passionfruit semi freddo. Shannon suggests adding chocolate mousse. She is reluctant, since she fucked up the chocolate mousse the last time she tried it, but will go with it anyway because Shannon said passion fruit and chocolate go well together. Hmm…

Jim starts. He is cooking fish with smoked butter. Interesting. The smoked butter sounds REALLY complicated. He is smoking it with tea. His fish is red emperor, and he has a sauce that involves coconut. I have a strong feeling that it is way more complicated and fancier, not to mention yummier, than the coconut sauce we had with our curry tonight. 😆 His fish isn’t cooking quickly enough in the oven and he is running out of time. Zounds! You know what? I don’t really care. Wrong attitude, I know, but Ashleigh is welcome to ammunity for all I care.

The judges taste the red emperor with vanilla sauce and coconut water. The fish is cooked beautifully. Gary can’t make up his mind if he likes the sauce. None of them is sure if they like it. I roll my eyes.

Passion fruit semifreddo, chocolate mousse with some sort of crumb is obviously Ashleigh’s dish and the judges, to their credit, don’t pretend otherwise. George licks his plate, uncouth creature that he is. He likes it. I roll my eyes. Again.

Times to show the scores. Jim’s are first. Gary gives him 7, George 8, and Matt 7.

For Ashleigh, Gary gives her 8, George 9, and Matt 9.

I try hard to feel excited but fail utterly. I think it’s total bullshit, but they didn’t ask me. Since when is a bit of ice cream and chocolate mousse better than an innovative dish from a professional chef? Guess he won’t be back, and neither should he be. Oh well, they have now given out their second Ammunity Pin, thus proving how very high is the standard of the contestants this year. *cough, cough*

June 25, 2015   323 Comments

Guest Post: House Rules – Day 2 Of The Hervey Bay Challenge

Gidgit is back (follow her on Twitter here) with another recap of House Rules and over to Gidgit:

It’s all very secretive on site as teams try to hide their ideas for absolutely no reason what so ever. Who is going to build a 2ND outdoor shower?? Let’s be serious. So we see the final home AGAIN and stop showing it! It’s ruining the surprise of what it looks like and obviously shows they DID pull it all together to get it done – well the outside anyway!!

Hervey Bay so more whales, beach, whales, beach. Over to the house and it’s day…who the hell knows?  I just know it’s going to be a mad panic on the last day and that outside painting of that house is going to be full on. We have a house around the same ‘era’ of that house. Had the outside painted and it was a six day job – seriously! Sanding, base paint then final colour – two coats…old house needs a lot of care…and time! And no asbestos in this house again? Hmmm??

Danielle is being a bit of a pain in the arse in this renovation and the only girl left standing I really like is Marlee! Yes it’s stressful but you’ve all been doing it now for a while! Get a grip!  Danielle picks the smallest bath on earth – about the size of a sink – but still bigger than OUR bathtub. No stretching out let me tell you.  Bronik and Corrine’s tiles for the ‘shower room’ show up and I do like them – unlike the delivery guy who REALLY doesn’t.  Surprise surprise – teams tell us none of them want to go home. No shit Sherlock! You want your mortgages paid off – why would you WANT to go home?

Steve & Tiana are going ahead with their castle cubby house idea which Caroline Burns McDisneyland loved and I’m all ‘eh’ about. HOT building supervisor rocks up to tell Steve that they are about to build it on sewage pipes and hey kids – poopy pool to ride the fireman’s pole into! Weee! Hot damn the tradies in Hervey Bay are hot! Tropical heat – you bet your ass! Call me!  Great editing of Steve just standing there like a deer in headlights having no idea what to do! I laughed. Meanwhile Ben & Danielle are having a tiffy. Yet again Danielle is distracted by a dog while shopping (and I would be too unless it was a certain breed I refuse to mention). Caroline Burns McBathtub is back to tell Ben their choice of bathtub could not even bathe her it’s so small! Oye – our bathtub is smaller than that and I have the cleanest ankles ever!

She’s right of course and Ben & Danielle need to order a new bath that takes up all the space without the little shelf thingie. Just put a stool by the side of the bathtub for razors, soap etc like they do on The Block! Oh and I bet Danielle has naturally wavy/curly hair and straightens her hair every morning! I know my hair. Back from ad break & just saw someone throwing away an original door – not happy Jan.  Oooh yes Ben – talk to the plumber! Yowzas! Hot hot hot – and not the weather! It’s gable-gate between Marlee & Ryan and Danielle & Ben. Everyone wants to stay but they all still need to renovate a complete home that flows – not a mish mash.  I am winning it after-all so pull your shit together people!

Bronik & Corrine are happy with their outdoor show…fuck that there is the plumber again! Be still my beating heart. Bronik announces the outdoor shower and the secret it out. Big deal – who cares? They boys playing with the vacuum was amusing – especially as Bronik couldn’t do it! Ryan & Marlee – well Ryan’s – plan is double carport and needs concrete laid but again HOT building supervisor rocks up (welcome any time) to tell Ryan he needs to change plans. It’s a knock on effect as all their outside areas meet up.  Now with Ryan moving his area it’s caused more strife for Steve. Poor Steve. Go hitch hiking which is illegal in Qld – so I was told! Steve is worried about his castle & I’m thinking it’s going to look like Piss Weak World from The Late show!

Oh so twitter on screen picker picks ‘excited to see us the outside shower is going’ but not any of mine? Jeez what did I do to you? Actually probably slept with you then kicked you to the curb. Ok makes sense now. Steve is again told more plans for other teams outside areas and the poor guy is like a puppy lost on the highway.  I am not ‘keen’ on Cassie but credit for rescuing the original homes windows. They could be used for a lot of things – especially as WINDOWS! But they are going to LED light one of them and what is happening to the others? Tiana has a plan for the bedroom & REALLY wants a four poster bed so the winning couple can tie each other up? That’s my guess anyway.

One thing I know is you cannot have your ‘heart set’ on ANYTHING with a renovation! You have to be open minded within reason. She has no luck at Forty Winks so finds a really nice furniture store and finds a PERFECT four poster bed but wants a darker colour. Noooooooooo! That one is perfect. Love the washed out grey style. Buy it and change your style of the room! Different woods do work together. Ever seen an all pine room! Dear god!

First deliveries arrive and it’s looking good for my home. Oh god it’s another cute dog so Danielle has gone goo goo!  The lads are giving Ben shit over how small his bathtub is and so they should! Ben goes to rip the bath out but Ryan and Matt are in it and GROUP BATH! Two days to go and that is NOT a king size Tiana! I know my beds and that is a double. We have a king and we have to pack a lunch to meet each other in the middle!

Cassie it out shopping as well and finds a bunk bed that she wants assembled on delivery and good luck getting that through the door when it arrives. Guess we’ll get to laugh at that tonight!  Guessing you can separate them so maybe not so funny? Due to no neighbours within screaming range and council permission – everyone keeps working into the night. Steve & Tiana’s art studio – oh sorry cubby house (art studio) is looking naff. Ryan is working hard tiling and is not a stranger working in the dark…hmmm working at what? What’s in your basement Ryan? Ben & Danielle get their SLIGHTLY bigger bathtub at around 9pm and it’s suddenly the day before reveal and I’m confused…and slightly itchy. I HATE Bronik & Corrine’s diagonal wall thing – horrible! Goners!

Ryan & Marlee are building a build in seating area for dining for ‘heaps of kids’ and be funny if a childless couple win this but no way that is happening! They are REALLY playing up the whole family with kids business! Marlee wants to do the foam seating herself so off to foam shop (didn’t know they existed?) so foam guy gets her to sit on all his foam – ooooh matron! And really not suited with the butt song for Marlee is it? She’s a tiny little thing. Would have been better with a song about foam or squishy or pervy foam sale’s guys!

So my Foxtel IQ3 recording has run out AGAIN! I need to fix that – or they do – or Ch 7 does! Stop running overtime! Channels be cray cray with their running overtime!  More happened but I can’t remember and I have Lost Undercity Worlds to watch! Check you all tonight on twitter: @GidgitVonLarue You will see I rehash tweets like a crazy person!

Ciao lovlies.

June 23, 2015   72 Comments