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Survivor China – Episode 1

China seems to be the place de jour for reality tv shows this week. With Survivor holding their new series behind the bamboo curtain.

It must have been disappointing for some contestants who had been hoping for a tropical island, but it did appear with the rain forest and hideous thunderstorms they were going to get a tropical environment.

Because of the different environment the first scene of them arriving on boats to the island did not occur.

They were going to some Buddhist temple, where they had to walk up the stairs with their suitcases.

There there were Buddhist monks and followers there to greet them.

Jeff Probst then advised them they would take part in a Buddhist welcome ceremony. Jeff made sure he pointed out it was not a religious ceremony but a welcoming ceremony.

But Leslie – the christian radio announcer had a meltdown and said she could not do it as it felt to much like worship. She said that the bible said that you could not bow down to another God. So she felt it was wrong. Clearly did not think she was insulting these Buddhist’s at all. I suspect the Producers may have done this on purpose as they knew out of the 16 contestants from a strong christian country like the US one would arch up.

The contestants were then told that part of Buddhism was giving up all your worldly possessions and they were only going to be taken to camp with the clothes they were wearing.

One blonde girl piped up she did not have a bra on. You could just see the male competitors that were not gay rubbing their hands in glee. My partner also got excited about this. Was this payback for the naked Richard Hatch?

They were then split up into to teams Yellow team Zhan Hou, and Red team Fei Long. They were given a copy of the “Art of War” and a map.

Finally they were on the boats paddling on the river to their camps. For Jeff and the production team sakes I hope there was an Aman lodging nearby for them to hangout in.

They arrived at their camps and there was some complimentary rice, but not sure how you were going to cook it without fire.

Now this is like series 120 of Survivor, now when are the competitors going to learn that the first thing you do is start building a shelter. Oh no yellow team were fluffing around “bonding”. Also they did not listen to Chicken – a chicken farmer who had lived in the wilderness about where to put the shelter. He suggested near the trees. Other people wanted it out in the open which the majority agreed upon.

Rule number 1 listen to old crazy guys they normally know a thing or two about outdoor survival.

Chicken then sulked and refused to give any advice when asked after this which was not going to make him popular with his mates.

So the yellow team then built a shelter in the middle of a mud pit. Ashley the pro- wrestler on day 2 then got sick and was not much help. Probably not helped by being rained upon by a storm on the first night.
Yellow team were a mess.

Red team had built a better shelter, therefore were at an immediate advantage.

Day 3 and it was time for a challenge. The red team decided it was best to read the relevant chapter of the Art of War, which advised them to pick a leader. Aaron the surfer dude was given it.

It was an immunity challenge and the first team to finish would also get fire. It was a dragon race which include physical stamina, athleticism for one of each team, and a puzzle at the end.

The black grave digger led the red team to an easy victory.

When the yellow team got back to camp Peigh-Gee the asian jeweller wept probably because she realised she was with a pack of duds. “We need to work harder” Yes that would be correct.

With the elimination coming up there appeared to be no strategising that was seen on tv. Both Peih-Gee and model dude wanted to be leader of the group. Both appeared to have no leadership skills except bossiness.

At the elimination Chicken said “Do you want the guy who does not fit in, or the guy who works hard?” He also gave this sage bit of advice ” If we we don’t open our eyes we will be seeing you(meaning Jeff) a lot”.

However the yellow team showed they did not want the guy who does not fit in and Chicken was the first to be eliminated from the game.

Jeff did give the yellow team flint now so they could start a fire. But could they decide where to put the fire pit. Of course not

It was at this point that my Fox IQ had an episode and stopped recording episode 2, so I missed a lot of the episode including the immunity challenge. If Rupert Murdoch does not get his shit together with this machine, I am going to go to TiVo once it enters the market.

Anyway I was pissed as I was enjoying seeing the yellow team implode. My instincts had been correct as I quickly turned to Channel 9 to learn the yellow team had lost the immunity challenge, and that Dave the model leader, and Ashley the pro- wrestler heads were possibly on the chopping block. Episode 2 and there was already open hostility in the team. Was this some type of record? Everyone voted for Ashley, except Ashley who voted for Peih-Gee. Ashley was not happy about it as her flame was extinguished and her chance at $1 million went with it.