My Kitchen Rules – Victoria
I don’t know if I can ever forgive My Kitchen Rules for the experience of having seen a few unwanted minutes of Home and Away. Even more unbelievable than the dialogue (dire) and the acting (worse) is the idea that people might want to watch it AGAIN online. Say it ain’t so!
After last night’s debut I didn’t think I’d bother with another date with Come Masterchef With Me. For all of you other reality TV dependants out there, you’ll know how chockers the schedule is right now, so Raver has had to prioritise viewing and asked me if I’d have a look in on our competitive cooks and report back. Below is not so much a recap, as a few points that, if I hadn’t been typing them down, there would have been various things flying at the TV, so I guess I should be grateful for that.
- Is Channel Seven really wedded to that “most renowned chefs” line, because it really pisses me off. I hadn’t heard of Peter Evans until he was beaten by an amateur who has gone on to do… what, exactly?… In fact, MKR’s Peter Evans isn’t even the most renowned Peter Evans.
- Is Manu only wearing the choker because he doesn’t like being a sex symbol? It’s working. Hate.
- I’d be more inclined to accept the rampant heterosexuality of the Victorian boys if the editors weren’t so desperately editing in gratuitous shots of girls in bikinis. And if they didn’t stare at each other with such scary intensity.
- It should be taken as read in competitive reality shows that each contestant/group will bring their “A” game and try to “impress” those voting for them. So stop saying it as though it’s novel, Queenslanders! And perhaps this would be a snappy 30 mins if all the stating of the obvious was left out.
- Sure, each group is from a different state, but that’s a completely different proposition to “being honoured to represent” their state. Those boys don’t represent me; I’m sure readers from other states feel the same way about the folks who, by accident or design, inhabit their state-space.
- Didn’t Mossy explain last night that the rules meant they couldn’t sub ingredients? Why, then, weren’t the guys given more of a pasting for their painted crays? And, seriously, is anybody buying the “typo” explanation for their truffle oil?
- “Atrocity” is a word I think should be used for truly egregious acts (genocide, human rights abuses). Not truffle oil, as disappointing as it is.
- Mel and whats-his-name. I can’t even be bothered going through all the things they said that pissed me off. There were a lot.
- Okay, just one example: Mel being pissed off that the Queenslanders and the Westralian were wearing jeans. Did she see what Paul was wearing? Glass houses.
- Oh, and one more: “It’s a bit like putting olives on the menu? And then serving olive oil.” Well, at least she didn’t call white-truffle-gate an atrocity.
- People who are so confident in their cooking ability that they 1. think it’s worth $100K and 2. have more than one signature dish should know that you don’t serve risotto and pasta. They should also stop short of congratulating themselves on their ravioli not bursting if the pasta sheets are half a centimetre thick. That’s what stopped them from bursting. Oh, and stopped them from being, you know, edible.
- It pissed me off that the guys tried to pass off the stupid risotto/pasta decision on not being able to change the menu once it was submitted. They submitted the menu in the first place, right?
- Why doesn’t Seven show us the same respect it showed the contestants – they had a week between dinner parties. We had to suffer two in a row. At least now there’s a break until Monday, although the odd scheduling smacks of a homeMADE level disaster, to me.
- And the dinner party tonight looked just as boring as last night’s. Dancing? Pull out a pinata and maybe we’ll call that entertainment.
Finally, it wasn’t all a hate-fest. I liked:
- Manu’s disappointment, repeatedly expressed, over the truffle.
- Mossy. In fact, I think I love Mossy a little bit. He seemed to forget that he was in a competition with the others. Although perhaps his strategy of sharing a beer with them to raise their spirits after their disastrous first course might explain how it took him several hours to mash some potato.
- the fact that the guys had a spare stash of saffron.
- “Young boys playing with big toys”.