Masterchef – surprise chef!
Ominous drums signal the welcome back to the Masterchef kitchen. Gary thinks there are not many of them left, but there are still a lot I don’t know. And a lot I don’t care for, Carrie. I hope the fact that she’s getting the initial interview here signals that she’ll be on the block. In any other reality show, I’d suspect that this was a red herring, but the way the editing has been so far I’m sure that it’s something I can take to the bank.
Making a three course family dinner WITH A TWIST! Which is that they will stalk a supermarket shopper and cook them a bew-ti-ful three course meal in their kitchen. I’m horrified that nobody gives Ari the Surprise Chef a shoutout, or did I imagine him? Somebody please confirm that he wasn’t just a figment of my imagination.
Matt will be dining with a super secret mystery guest judge, and we all know that it’s Curtis so I’ve completely lost interest in Matt’s camping this up. The winners will have a meal at Sailor’s Thai and two of the losers will be facing elimination.
The three celeb challengers from last night have to decide which one of them will be the captain and Joanne really wants this. Aaron strategically decides to vote for her and she’s a bit surprised, since Aaron is tight with Matt, who is also surprised. Finally, though, he figures out why Aaron’s playing this way. Bright spark, our Matt.
Joanne chooses blue, and she picks Sharnee as the opposing captain.
Joanne’s team: Jimmy, Claire, Adam, Aaron, Skye, Alvin, Jonathan, Carrie
Sharnee’s team: Marion, Peter, Callum, Matthew, Phil, Fiona, Jake
Joanne is Kath. Or Kim. “Just stick with moi, ploise?”
Both teams get some knockbacks before the reds hit on a handsome looking guy with a cute kid. Who gets the fireball treatment. And then the reds discovered that their dad is a chef so they ask him what he’d cook and then they start picking up nasty parmesan cheese from the sponsors. Ick.
Nobody wants Kimmy to cook for them, until Kirrily magically appears. She and her family have just returned from Singapore, so Aaron is pleased by this. They break into two groups to complete the shopping. I wonder if the green bags were factored into the $100 budget.
Tua has a nice kitchen – reds are lucky! And they have Gary, who… is not George.
Kirrily’s house meets with Joanne’s approval, but she notes that the kitchen is tiny. They’ve drawn George as their coach.
Callum alienates the sponsor by interviewing that the filo is past its use by date so instead of making spanakopita, they will now make frittata, which is what Tua wanted, anyway.
Kirrily’s small kitchen means that Jimmy and Aaron are making chilli prawns outside. Claire, Adam and Alvin are making poached chicken with coconut milk and Carrie and Jonathan are dealing with dessert. What is Joanne doing? “Guys, what can I do for you? Nothing? Good?” So she goes outside for a cry. While she’s out there being soothed by George, the dessert is a disaster in the making: pastry not working, split cream… so she goes to make the table beautiful. In the red corner, Marion is giving Sharnee props for her spot-on leadership. Joanne interviews that her role is to oversee everythink (sic), which seems to mean asking people what they want and then not responding to their requests.
The Situation is having problems getting the frittatas out of the muffin tins and if he keeps talking, he’ll have problems getting that date he seems to think his MC celebrity will bring, abs or no abs.
Blah blah lack-of-dramatic-tension… here’s Curtis. And Jake watches OPRAH!
The red family like the frittata, but Curtis thinks it’s a bit cheese heavy. The kids think the lamb is yum, and it reminds Curtis of something you’d get in a good pub. Tua is happy with it, so Curtis asks “are you blown away?” and he admits that he’s not. Was being “blown away” part of the “family meal” brief? I’m not blown away by Curtis’ fettucine bolognese, either. Not, you know, that I’ve tried it. It just looks so lumpy and unappetising. Matt says that their dessert will need to be special and the kids give it a “great” and a “good” and because they’re happy, Tua’s happy. And so are the red team, spying through the kitchen window. Curtis thinks the reds have done a great job, “but this is Masterchef”, he adds ominously, as though that means that standard should be higher. They should really make him watch the show so that he can develop some realistic expectations.
Hawker style prawns. Dad says that they eat well at home anyway, a bit snarkily, but 15 year old Harry – who hasn’t ever eaten prawns – has a crack, which amazes everybody. The chicken poached in coconut broth with chicken rice gets the thumbs up from the family, and Curtis thinks they’ve hit the nail on the head. Dessert comes out and it’s the poached peach tart. Fireball. God, now even Matt’s saying bewt-i-ful. The pastry is heavy – CARRIE! – and Kirrily thinks it’s a bit uh-UH.
Pointless Judge comments
Sharnee wants to go on a reward lunch and Joanne is trying to be confident but not cocky.
Sharnee says that her team performed well overall. The positives: they nailed talking to the family, understanding it and delivering it. The dessert was a “hero moment… FAN-tastic”. Negatives: frittata was disappointing. Callum says that it’s what Tua mentioned, but Gary thinks they could have done it better. No mention of the supermarket stocking out-of-date products.
Joanne thinks the blue team worked well but didn’t support her and Claire and Jonathan give her death stares. Jonathan says there was no leadership, to nods from Aaron. Joanne interviews that she disagrees with his opinion. Positives: innovative menu, magnificent entree. They are still going with the idea that someone who has never eaten something is a good judge of whether it is good or not. Negatives: dessert disaster. It failed on two fronts: didn’t match the brief and was executed poorly. The meringue and the pastry are the main culprits.
Curtis and Matt had the casting vote. Curtis liked the reds, but Matt liked the blues. So we’re getting all the cliches now, as Gary dusts off “long and hard”. I’m predicting that, after the inevitable fireball, we’re going to see them send the two captains to elimination.
Unfortunately I’m wrong. Carrie and Jonathan will face it for the blues, and Joanne – who did nothing – gets away with it. Phillip and Callum will be up against it for the reds. If Carrie doesn’t go home, it will be a travesty.
- Is Curtis’ surprise chef show the elephant in the room? Matt says he was the perfect judge, but doesn’t say “because he does this shit all the time in the US”.
- Why were the positive comments from Harry on the prawns given so much weight. He’d never eaten the bloody things before, so how could he judge a good prawn from a bad one?
- Ugh, how awful was that staged everybody-grabbed-a-tea-towel shot?
- Matt’s trousers tonight? Tangerine nightmare.
- Somebody (Pollywaffle?) pointed out that Gary has adopted George’s foot bouncing. He and Matt are also aping the “bew-ti-ful” pronunciation.
- There’s a Curry Pot aisle in Coles?
- And, once again, because it rocked… Jake watches OPRAH!